Five new Projects waiting for a chance
by Tremor230
Summary: Now that the Twilight Princess is over, other than working on the Breath of the Wild Cross, I am looking for something new and "spicy" to tickle my fancy. Here are 5 stories that will very likely become reality...Should I manage to not write myself into a corner, I am posting them so to find eventual problems to fix before full publishing. AU, OOC and M Rate. Please enjoy.
1. Bartender x Various Crossover

**A small fusion of the mangas "_Bartender_" and "_Western Restaurant to Another World_", only with a way WIDER pool of Customers.**

**I wanted to try a "Slice of Life" Story for once, and in order to do so, the chapters had to be shorter still, more than usual, and to make up for it, I decided to have 2 episodes per chapter (_2000 to 3000 words each_) so to still give each chapter a proper length.**

**I am no Master Brewer/Bartender, I am taking both descriptions/reaction from the original "Bartender" Manga and/or looking on internet for recipes/history behind the various liqueurs/cocktails that will appear here.**

**This should, _IDEALLY_, be a more 'Relaxing' story, hopefully.**

**Should you see characters from other franchises, keep in mind this: I am trying to go a bit deeper into their humanity, beyond their '_idolized'_ character, technically they ARE living beings, they too have down times, sorrow and sadness, think outside your "_shonen"_ for once.**

**I wish you the best of days.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of all this, all rights reserved to the original owners. Please support the official releases.**

_**A Little Game: Are you able to tell who are the guests that appeared in this Chapter? Tell me in the reviews!**_

**Isekai Eden Cat Chapter 1.**

Once a week on Saturday, as soon as the sun sets, a strange door with a simple and unassuming oval bronze plaque with **'**_**Eden Cat.' **_written on it in an elegant font and decorated by a silhouette of a black cat lazily lying on top of the letters, would appear.

The door would look unremarkable, just well-polished and smooth reddish wood, and standing perfectly straight in the middle of nowhere by itself, or even taking its place on walls that normally would not hold doors any other day of the week.

Should one open it though, a room would appear beyond its frame, even if the door was just there, in the middle of the street, a dimly-lit bar would still be there waiting for the new guest to enter.

Elegant even in its low light, giving it a mysterious air as the few sources of light were the tiny silver lanterns in the middle of the few tables on the left side and a tiny chandelier on the ceiling, that too modest and unobtrusive...The real _Magic_ after all always happened on the right side of the bar, and every regular knew this by heart.

An extremely long counter in waxed dark wood, and behind it, simply every single bottle of alcohol and non-alcoholic beverages in existence, held in display like treasures in the faint light of the room, and on the very top of the giant window, an ice sculpture of a cat peacefully asleep.

The thing was...It was not only the Bartender to be '_Magical' _in its abilities, nor the man's friend and partner with his dishes in the small restaurant on the floor under the bar; the door of the bar itself was indeed _Magical_, literally.

It did not appear randomly in the human world only, but also in different realities and worlds inhabited by strange creatures of every size and shape…

These are the stories of the '_**Eden Cat'**__ Bar_, and of its Bartender Ryu Sasakura, also know as** "**_**God's Glass".**_

_**Episode 1: **_**A dream dressed in black velvet.**

It was Saturday night, the last customer of the day had just left the place with a muttered '_Good Night'_ while stumbling a little in his steps while closing the thick door behind himself.

"Good night, Sir." the young Barman behind the counter, Ryu Sasakura, 27 years old, answered to his last customer with his gentle and mysterious smile never faltering until the closed door gave a faint '_Click!'_ sound signifying that it was about to connect to '_**The other side'**_.

It was indeed strange for a bar to close that soon on saturday, but the guests from the Other Side always covered the lack of income from '_normal'_ customers easily, so in the end, it did not matter much in the great scale of things.

"It's almost time, do you need some help?" another voice asked gently as the lift next to the counter's end, at the opposite side of the room compared to the entrance, opened.

"Is already late, I would hate to bother you, you too are about to start." Ryu answered with a small smile.

"Fixing you something to help you go through the last stretch is hardly a bother, considering that now you will have to deal with the other side." the Master of the restaurant under the bar answered.

"You already did a lot, pretending you to cook for me as well would be too much." the Bartender answered chuckling.

"I still have to prepare for my door to become active, and to be fair, it is also my fault if your door too started connecting your place to another world...Or worlds, to be precise."

"Nekoya was already famous on a single extra world, now because of me we both have _**several**_ worlds to serve." Ryu said with a tired sigh.

"In my defence, that key lighted-up by itself and did all the work without me asking."

"And your grandmother said that both doors went into conflict as soon as that happened, and fought for dominance until mine '_submitted',_ with the added result that the portal of _**my door**_ is unstable and connects to just two or three doors in several different worlds, contrary to yours that only works for another world beside this, but with a lot more doors."

"I already said I am sorry." the older man answered with a small chuckle.

"I don't mind, in the end we both benefit from this, I keep sending down to you new customers whenever they are just looking for a something nice to eat, and you do the same whenever one of yours look for something particular to drink."

"As long as we both are satisfied, then I won't mind. Now come, we have at best ten minutes before the first guests arrive. Yesterday Kuro was gentle enough to leave aside some of her chicken curry for you, I just need to cook the rice." the Master Chef answered while opening again the elevator.

"Considering how much she loves that, I should feel honored." the other answered while following his friend down to the restaurant.

Five years ago, young Ryu finally decided to open his own bar instead of working for others, determined to follow his own style of '_Bartendering'_ after years of studies and experiences under some of the Greatest Bartenders of Japan...Problem was he lacked both money and a place worthy of his project, that was when he met the owner of the "_Nekoya __Western Restaurant._".

Residing at ground level, that western-style restaurant and its owner had helped the young man immensely, as the Master of the place had put a good word for Ryu with the owner of the shop right above the restaurant, a place just big enough for Ryu to turn his project into reality, with the added promise that he would have paid the entire sum in small parts monthly...Then he discovered that '_Mako-san'_ and his restaurant had a way wider reach than imagined when he saw a real _Lizardman_ walk through the door of Nekoya as if nothing was out of ordinary.

Then his own door decided to go world-hopping as well...and the rest, was history, luckily all his new customers could pay in gold easily enough, so money too was not a problem.

As for the customers on the other side of the door, when the door appeared on their side the sun had just barely got down, for them the night was still very young and that meant it was time for them to unwind and relax, and he was there for that.

**Ten minutes later - **

That was five years ago, now instead, the extra work on Saturday night was just the norm, just like the small white horse entering accompanied by a light-orange one to sit right at the counter.

"Welcome, Miss." he said with the proper gentle smile a real Bartender should always show to their guests.

"Good evening, Ryu darling."

"Hello..." the new guest muttered unsure while looking around.

"You look particularly happy tonight, miss."

"Ryu, Ryu, Ryu...You really don't remember what day is today?" the mare said with a jokingly chastising tone.

"Of course I do remember, today is exactly two years since you started visiting my bar." Ryu answered while preparing a tall flute glass.

"The usual?" he asked.

"As always, darling." she answered with a reminiscing expression.

**Two Years Prior - **

Ryu had just gave his goodbye to his latest guest, with the old man giving him a grunt in answer while adjusting the axe on his back when the door opened just as soon as he closed it.

"Welcome." never missing a beat, the young Bartender welcomed the new arrival as she cautiously peaked inside, even if with how tipsy she looked, the result was fairly comical.

"W-What is this place?" the white horse asked unsure.

"This is the **Eden Cat** bar, I guess this is the first time my door appeared in your world? I hope it didn't bother you." Ryu asked with a small bow.

"No, no, no...It was just standing against a tree in the park, I don't even think a room is supposed to be here...WAIT! W-W-What do you mean '_Your World'_?" the strange unicorn asked.

"Once every seven days, my door connects to other worlds, creating copies of itself in randomly-selected locations. We accept payment in silver and gold, as in my world the normal currency is different from the guests' original world." Ryu answered.

"Uh...It is not the strangest thing I saw and took part to..." the mare answered while stumbling a little inside.

"My name is Ryu, young miss." the Bartender presented himself with a bow.

"Nice to meet you...But for somepony coming from another world, you do have a nice Canterlotian accent." the mare answered while sitting at the stool right in front of him.

"It's the bar itself, from my limited understanding, its own magic makes sure everybody here can talk freely, eliminating the Language Barrier."

"Twilight would have a blast at seeing this..." the mare muttered while waving a little in her seat.

"Is there anything that I can offer you?" Ryu asked.

"It depends...Does this bar have some potion to heal a broken mare?" she finally asked with a defeated sigh.

"Every bottle can work like that, young miss, as inside them there are '_spirits',_ that is why a good cocktail can even heal the soul." Ryu answered, making the mare chuckle a little at the word-play.

"Nice and sophisticated...Like the world I will never be part of." the poor thing answered with a self-deprecating sigh.

"I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"You did nothing...Those _High Class_ foals in Canterlot did...And I fear they are right...Somepony with rural upbringing like me cannot join high society."

"My apologies, miss, but you seem far from being '_Rural'_ to me." Ryu admitted.

"I thought so too, that is why I opened a second shop in Canterlot! It was my dream, opening a branch section of my _Carousel Boutique_ where the High Class Ponies lived! I wanted to be the one recognized as the dress-maker of the stars! But they made it abundantly clear that there is no place for me there..."

"I see...If I may, I would like to tell you a story."

"Eh?" the mare uttered in confusion.

"May I?"

"...Go on..."

"Thank you. It was a cold night and there was a great sense of festivity in the air: with couples enjoying each other company and office workers finally relaxing after a long day of work, all of them meeting in a small, unassuming bar."

"Sounds lovely." she commented with a small smile.

"It was then that a distraught man entered that bar, sad and alone, passing through the door just because entranced by the beauty of a woman, a '_Star'_ in his eyes...But he was a scholar, he said, so in his mind unable to mingle with the high class society he knew his _Star_ was instead part of."

"Oh..."

"_I cannot drink champagne, even if it is a day of holiday, because it belongs to the rich people living in a world of appearances while I am grounded on the world of knowledge! __T__hus I can only drink beer, the common man's drink__. __Ours are t__wo worlds that cannot mix!_" he said, imitating a little that man's voice.

"Sounds similar to me...I come from a small town, _of course_ I cannot mix with the high echelons of a big city!" the mare commented bitterly.

"Precisely, he described himself as a beer: common and unsophisticated, compared to the '_Champagne'_ of the world of High society..." Ryu said while preparing a tall flute and taking out two bottles: one tall and elegant, the other shorter and more chubby.

"And then? What happened?"

"A miracle...He saw those two worlds mix inside his glass, and he discovered that sometimes the '_Barriers'_ we see in front of us are there just because we let them stand in our way." Ryu answered as he angled both bottles down to fill that single glass.

"WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU-"

Before the mare could stop him, she saw the two liquids fall inside the glass in a simply mesmerizing twirling of foam that for a second hypnotized her, the young man's smile never faltering as the flute kept filling until the thin line of foam stopped just at the rim of the glass, with the very last drop from both bottles merely disappearing inside without making the mixture spill down.

"This was the result of the two worlds mixing together. A _**Black Velvet, **_please, enjoy." Ryu said while moving the glass closer to the mare.

_(Small note, Ryu did a '_Two-Handed versing'_, meaning a bottle in each hand at the same time, and in his world, beside him, only other 4 Bartenders **in all of Japan** can do that!_

_That's some skills!)_

"Y-Y-You mixed Beer with Champagne! It's a waste! Are you out of your mind?!" the guest gasped in shock.

"This particular _**Black Velvet **_is made by mixing a Guinnes dark beer and a Moȅt Chandon, a '_Brut Imperial'_. Please do try it, should it not be suitable to your tastes, your tab for tonight will be on me." Ryu answered, not in pride, but in utter gentleness.

"You promise?" Rarity asked with narrowed eyes.

"A Bartender cannot lie, it would break the trust between them and the guests, making the entire idea of a bar a moot point." he answered.

"I will entertain you, just because you look like you know your stuff..." she answered, making her horn light-up to raise the glass without touching it.

"Quite the nice trick."

"Don't butter me up now, darling, it's time for the Taste test." the mare said while taking a sip…

And going wide-eyed.

"I-I-It's good?!" she said in surprise while downing the cocktail.

"It has both the refined sourness of Champagne and the rough bitterness of beer...But they are not fighting with each other, but EMPOWERING each other...How?!"

"Because they pull on each other strength, as you said, they coexist instead of fighting. Both have good points and bad points, if one knows how to mix the good and the bad, they can obtain true miracles."

"A-Another, please!"

"Of course, Miss." Ryu answered with a tiny nod.

**Back to the present - **

"Huhuhu! It was the vision of that cocktail, the color of black velvet, swirling in my glass that gave me the needed inspiration to create a new line of dresses, mixing '_Rural Simplicity' _and '_High-Class Elegance'_, a collection that finally made even the more obtuse stuck-up foal admit my talent and give me a chance, and now I am just as sought after as the greatest houses of _Haute Couture _are. All thanks to you." the mare said with a beaming smile.

"I did nothing, young miss, I just gave you the cocktail you wanted, you did all the work." Ryu answered bowing.

"Don't be coy with me, darling! You showed me that my world and theirs could mix, if I did not lose hope, that is thanks to you!" she answered smirking, elegantly drinking from her flute of _**Black Velvet **_with a satisfied expression.

"Thank you, young miss. Your friend instead? Can I offer her something?"

"Dear Sunset has just returned to be part of our community after some '_eventful moments'_ in her recent past, and she is still having problems adjusting."

"More likely, I am deadly afraid of ruining everything, again." the second mare answered.

"Oh."

"So I decided to introduce her to my absolute favourite Bartender. Can you heal her spirit too, _God's Glass__?_" the pale horse asked with a devious smirk, using the young man's moniker with a challenging tone.

"A Bartender lives to serve. Please, allow me." he answered while taking out the _shaker_ and several bottles.

"The glass of God?"

"You'll see, he can fill glasses with real miracles!" the mare answered proudly.

_Shik! Shik! Shik!_

Acting as if he had not heard her, Ryu simply focused on preparing the new cocktail, filling the empty bar with the subtle noise of the ice dancing inside the container in his hands.

**Episode 2: A Father's Lament.**

It was again Saturday night, the bar had just started filling with guests from '_**The other side'**_ that were calmly drinking their chosen cocktails while talking in hushed tones, having somehow unanimously decided that rising one's voice while in there was a big Taboo, all without Ryu ever saying a thing about it himself.

"Another one, please!" an old lady asked with a gentle smile while rising her glass a little.

"Of course, Madame." Ryu answered promptly.

"Another? Do you ever tire of drinking that, _Long Island?"_ an old man asked amused as soon as he joined her at the table, he was an old man dressed in pure-white robes, and once propped the long white staff in his hands against the wall, he sat in front of her.

(_Long Island – the terror of college parties: gin, vodka, tequila, rum and triple sec. Drink if you dare.)_

"My dear _Gin-__t__onic__, _I will stop drinking it when Godric Gryffindor himself will come reclaiming my life, not a minute sooner! Hohoho!" the old woman answered with a jovial laugh.

It was also a bit silly for Ryu to see how his usual guests had took to address each other by the name of the drinks they preferred, and that each one of them was always ready to boast about their choice being _**THE BEST**_ cocktail Ryu and his bar had to offer.

Sometimes he wondered if that was just their way to unwind, and leave every '_weight'_ of their lives behind the door of the bar, as a way to simply take a pause from everything and relax.

"I am still going to say that I prefer my Gin Tonic, I prefer a simpler taste for my drinks...And it goes very well with pipe-weed." the old man answered, a bit sheepish.

"Just remember that you cannot smoke in here."

"I do, my dear, I do."

"Bah! I still gonna say that my _Sazerac_ is way better than that watered-down bog of yours, old man." Another guest, this one a very young woman with iron armour and her horned helmet resting on the table, answered scoffing.

(_Sazerac – a cocktail of Whiskey and Absinthe. Only for strong/daring drinkers_)

"Always showing such a fiery temper, _Miss Sazerac_. You remember me dear Gimli the first time we met." the old man answered, sighing.

"Are you calling me a brute?!" she asked with a roar.

"Perhaps." the old witch answered with a stern glare.

"How dare you?! I slay dragons for sport! Say that to my face if you have the guts!" the young woman growled furious.

"I can tell you slay dragons as you share a very similar attitude, young lady! Back to my school you would have spent MONTHS scrapping cauldrons as a punishment for such a temper. There is Bravery, THEN there is foolishness." she answered.

"That's it! I won't stand for this! _**FUS-ROH...**_"

"Gentleman and Mesdames, do I need to remind you that fighting here is prohibited?" another Guest, a woman with pointed ears and an austere pink dress said coldly, making the three stop abruptly.

"You know that if you fight here you will be forever banned from the bar, right?" the young man in green tunic with her added with a sigh while resting his head on a hand, bored like everybody else in there at the usual debate about the bar's best cocktail newcomers were prone to.

"...Right, My apologies." the young woman admitted with a defeated sigh while returning to sit at her table to empty what looked like being her sixth glass of the strong cocktail.

"Sometimes this kind of discussions get out of hand, do forgive us." the old man said with a sigh himself.

"It's all okay, a small moment of blind anger happens to everybody." Ryu answered with a gentle smile.

_Sigh!_ "I better go, though, they are still waiting for me in Whiterun. Here is my payment, and a little extra...For the noise." the young woman muttered while donning her helm, hastily leaving a small stack of gold coins on the counter before leaving.

"Please come again, Madame." Ryu answered with a small bow as the door was hastily opened and closed.

_Slam! _

"...That _Sazerac_, she should learn to not always go head-first into things." the same young woman with long ears muttered while shaking her head.

"Another one, your Highness?" Ryu asked as soon as her empty glass was pushed towards him.

"Yes...My beloved **Black Russian,** I tried having it done back home by the best brewers and Inn owners I could put my hands on, but it holds no comparison to yours, not even the Zora, master brewers, could replicate it." the woman answered.

"I am happy to hear you enjoy our cocktails, madame." Ryu answered with a small nod.

(_Black Russian: a classic made with Vodka and Coffee Liqueur._)

"Another one for me too, a bit more coffee stuff in it, though, if possible." her companion asked.

"Of course."

It was then that the door went rudely opened by a richly-dressed man with pointed blond beard and well-kept blond hair, he had a sword in his right hand and an elegant stick in his left hand.

"Welcome." Ryu welcomed the new-comer with a low and calm voice, unperturbed.

"What is this place?! Why is this door in my wife's personal office? I demand an explanation!" the man said with a booming voice.

"Oh my! A new visitor." the old woman said in amusement.

"They are always so surprised the first time they enter." the old man with her added, chuckling.

"Indeed."

"This is the **Eden Cat** Bar, Monsieur." Ryu answered, the Bar's inner magic already at work to help everybody talk freely without _Language Barrier_.

"You speak with the accent of Tristain, but I never saw this place before." the man said with narrowed eyes.

"Lower your weapon, this is not a place to fight." a deep, gruff voice rumbled like a far-away thunder as the door opened again from behind him.

"Oh! Dear **Zombie** is back! Here again to drown your sorrow, old friend?" _Gin Tonic_ asked curious.

"Hn!" the bald bearded man grunted in answer.

(_**Zombie**: Rum, Rum, with the addition of some Rum and a dash of Rum...Did we mention there is Rum in it? It contains several types of light and dark rum mixed together (and sometimes Cointreau), with extra flavors like pineapple.)_

"Who are you to...IS THAT A SEVERED HEAD?!" the strange man shrieked in surprise.

"_I wouldn't challenge him, Mate! It was not a good day, so my friend here is in a dark __place at the moment__._" the severed head dangling from the man's hip answered sighing.

"Be quiet, head. I am not in the mood for that today." the bearded man answered pushing past the new Guest to sit heavily at the stool right in front of Ryu.

"Here, Sir, all for you." the Bartender said with a gentle voice while positioning the large glass of the man's favourite cocktail in front of him.

"...Uhm...Always the same...Good." the man offered as an appreciation after the first sip, before falling into silent self-contemplation.

"_Maybe we should take the boy here someday, as a bonding experience._" the head muttered.

"Be quiet." was the only answer, mid-way between words and growling.

"What is this place?" the new guest asked again with a lower voice, eyeing the axe and chained blades on the giant guy's back warily, as he could tell those weapons were both magical and VERY lethal.

"This is the **Eden Cat **Bar. Every seven days the door distorts Time and Space and connects this bar to several other worlds, never more than two or three doors per world."

"And your door appeared in Halkegina?" the man asked.

"Halkegina? I already heard that name, I hope its appearance did not bother you."

_Sigh!_ "No, it didn't...To be honest, it actually appeared at the right time, I could use something to drink...Again." the man answered with a self-deprecating sigh as he sat at the counter.

"Ugh..." he then hissed, patting his stomach a little, thing that didn't go unnoticed by Ryu.

"If I may, I would like to suggest you a drink myself, Monsieur." he offered.

"I already know what to take." the man hissed back.

"Let him, The Gods can only make damages, but once in a while they can do something useful...and his _Gift_ is one of those rare instances." the guest nick-named '_**Zombie'**_ said.

"Hohoho! You saw something, didn't you, _God's Glass?_ Always oscillating between _Slytherin_ and _Ravenclaw_, Severus would have loved to have you in his classes." **Long Island** said with a knowing smile.

"Perhaps." Ryu answered, surprising the man by breaking some hard-looking ice into a glass and using a metallic measuring cap to add liqueur immediately after.

"God's Glass..." the new Guest muttered, curious.

"Here it is. **Whiskey: Water Cut.**" the young man said once presented the glass.

**(**_Water Cut: Whiskey mixed with the right amount of water to mellow the alcohol content, but not the taste.)_

"You just mixed alcohol with water..." the man hissed angrily.

"Please, Monsieur, do try it." Ryu asked.

"Tch! I already regret coming here...EH?!"

"T-T-There is a faint smell of cask and...and the firm sweetness of grain, while the edge of the alcohol has been removed, leaving it to gently soak the tongue...But it doesn't taste like water at all! How?!" the man asked in utter surprise as soon as he tasted it.

"The _Water Cut_ dilutes the alcohol content but leaves the taste unchanged, so it is easier for a troubled stomach to handle it." Ryu explained.

"Why you gave me this?"

"You haven't been sleeping well, isn't it, Monsieur?"

"H-How do you know?!"

"Your clothes speak of a man of high hierarchy...A count, maybe?"

"A Duke." the man corrected him.

"Yet your sleeves are rumpled, just like the collar of your dress is slightly dirty, for a Duke it either means the servants did a poor job...Or that he has been sleeping very little, if not at all...Or even sleeping somewhere uncomfortable without even changing himself."

"O-Oh..." the man muttered, surprised.

"You have faint bags under your eyes too, and have been touching your stomach from time to time, so I thought it was stress and/or anger that was keeping you awake. And since you said you needed a place to drink _**again**_ it means that lately you have been drinking more than usual, aggravating your stomach further."

"You saw all that?"

"A proper bartender has to have good eyes too. I felt a '_normal'_ Water Cut with 1 part Whiskey and 2/2.5 parts water would have been too strong for a tongue and a stomach that had gone through that much. So I used very solid ice to counter a lower alcohol content than usual for your drink."

"It does taste good, all things considered." the man admitted begrudgingly.

"Whiskey, eh? Whatever it is, it has a nice flavor, I would like to taste it properly once fixed my stomach."

"Of course, Monsieur."

_Sigh!_ "...If it will ever get fixed..." the man then said sighing in defeat.

"Monsieur?"

"It is all my wife's fault! Her fault for pretending our daughters to over-achieve! Her fault for pushing one daughter into meeting older men for marriage and another to force herself to fight off an illness that cannot be healed instead of resting and taking things easier!" he cried out, emptying the glass in one gulp.

"Another, please." he asked.

"Of course, Monsieur."

"...You know? I have three daughters, and only one got married...Do you know why?"

"She found the right man?" Ryu, understanding that he HAD TO answer, tried saying.

"Right on one! And you know why he was the right one? Because she damn well choose him! She didn't let her mother decide for her and stuck to him like glue! Sure he was a nobody (Her Familiar, even!) but I saw how they looked at each other, that was love!...I miss seeing that in my wife's eyes, even though now I am starting to wonder if she ever had that spark in there to begin with."

"..."

"You were correct in one assumption, I have been sleeping very little lately, and in my trophy room at that, with last night being me just losing consciousness on my favourite chair in front of the fireplace because I drank too much, so without even changing myself to sleep...I was just basking in the memories of my youth, when I was younger and free...Not like now."

"I am sorry, monsieur."

"Don't be, I challenged you in your field, liqueur, and you rightfully showed you know what you are doing. Always be proud of your achievements and talent! Who says humility should be the first thing...Well...They understand nothing. We are humans! We do not train for years in something just to then be all coy and humble, if we get far, the world has to acknowledge that!"

"I'll take note of that, Monsieur." Ryu answered with a small, amused chuckle.

"Who were you hiding from? To sleep in a trophy room?" the Princess guest, **Black Russian**, asked.

"You all are so bloody observant and nosy here...I was hiding from my wife,"

"Why?" her partner asked.

"Not your business, boy!"

"Please, dear guests, be nice." Ryu pleaded.

"My apologies. I am avoiding her since the marriage of my youngest daughter...A daughter I cannot see anymore because she moved to her husband's home world! Wait...Another world...YOU!" the man said, jumping to his feet so fast that his stool fell to the floor.

"Y-Yes?" Ryu stammered, unsure.

"If I tell you how she looks like and her name, can you find her for me? Tell here to come here if and when the door appears?"

"I-I don't know if I can do that, Monsieur, I can at best put out a word to my various guests if you want."

"There is no need." a new voice said as a woman in elegant dress entered the Bar.

"Oh! Madame Karin, welcome." Ryu said immediately as soon as she passed through the door,

"K-K-Karin!?"

"So you found my little treasure, you never were able to keep your little nose out of other people belongings, dear." the woman answered as she elegantly sat next to him.

"The usual, Madame?"

"Yes, **Dry Martini.** Extra Dry, remember." she answered.

"Of course."

(_Dry Martini: Vodka or Gin, a LOT of it, mixed with Vermount. The less Vermount used the Drier_ _the cocktail gets, which also mean that the resulting drink will also get stronger.) _

"So you met my husband, finally. What did you give him?"

"A Water Cut, Madame, for his troubled stomach."

"_Basically Alcohol and water mixed together._" the severed head with **Zombie** added.

"A watered-down drink? How fitting, my beloved Bartender! Just the right choice for a _watered-down_ _MAN _like him." Karin said harshly.

"Watered down...HOW DARE YOU!"

"Why? You still believe yourself to be a man? After all your running away and hiding?"

"..."

"Do you know why I said there was no need for you to ask dear Ryu to look for Louise?" the woman asked.

"You hate her and just want her gone?" he asked bitterly.

In answer he got hauled to his feet by her hand on his collar so to better stare into the _**FURIOUS**_ eyes of his wife.

"Never again utter such nonsense in my presence!" she warned him with blazing fury.

Ryu too started sweating, but because he saw the other patrons discreetly palming their respective weapons (Or lighting-up the body parts necessary for them to unleash their powers/magic) in preparation to forcefully evict the two before they could damage the bar, or worse, put Ryu in danger.

It wouldn't be the first time he saw _THAT_ happen to troublemakers.

"...I already asked him to look for a way to contact Louise myself, the first time I came here one year ago." she said with a calmer tone while letting her husband fall back sitting on his stool.

"I am waiting for confirmation, in this world is a bit easier because there are methods to keep in touch/find people, it is a bit harder on places without '_Social Media'_, so it takes time, even knowing the girl's name." Ryu answered.

"Please do keep me informed, we will organize together a meeting with them here, if you don't mind." Karin answered, nodding.

"Can I also suggest a visit to _Nekoya_ under us? The owner too is used to deal with customers coming from another world, and he is a Master Chef."

"Dinner together like a family...How long ago it was the last time we did it?...I would love to." Karin answered with a sigh.

"I will inform Mako-san then." the Bartender said with a nod.

"Please do."

"...So you don't hate her?" her husband asked with a low whisper.

"Do you?" she threw back.

"She is my little princess, just like her older sisters are, a father can't hate his children." he answered while looking at his glass.

"If a father can't hate his children, then why a mother would? Everything I did, I did it because I just wanted their happiness. I chose various suitors from rich families not to increase MY influence, but to cover for Louise's lack in Magic. Admittedly, in my ignorance, I wanted to find her a husband rich enough to let her live a life of leisure...There wouldn't have been need of using Magic if she had enough servants at her back and call to cover for it." Karin admitted.

"And your '_Rule of Steel'_?" he asked, sneering.

"Tough love, that much I admit, but I just wanted them to be strong-willed women, able to hold their grounds against EVERYTHING Life may throw at them. I may not show it, but I too would love nothing more than just show them that tiny bit more '_warmth'_ they long for. Cattleya needs to be strong because if she admits '_defeats'_ I know her illness will get worse, because she will let it take over."

"And Eleanor?"

"Not my fault actually, she do find older men more attractive."

"So you denied them the warmth of a mother so that they will grow strong-willed?"

"In a sense, but it does have its down-sides, one can say that just like they never fully experienced that '_warmth'_, neither I did as they grew-up."

"Then why don't you start now? They no longer are kids! They'll understand if you explain!"

"..."

"Are you afraid, my dear?"

"**Long Island**, please do not interfere." Karin answered hotly.

"Our children are stronger than what we believe, just because they remain kids in our eyes, it doesn't mean they don't develop fast." **Zombie** added with a low voice.

"Your son Atreus is indeed a wonderful child, listening to your anecdotes about him, you should be proud of him."

"I am."

"Does he know?" Karin asked with crossed arms.

"Do your daughters know you are proud of them?" he shot back with an unfazed tone, freezing her.

"So it is true? Is my beloved wife afraid?"

"No." Karin answered immediately.

"...You can't lie to me, beloved." her husband answered while grabbing her hand in a gentle hold.

"You haven't called me beloved in years...Let go."

"No." he answered smiling, pulling her a little closer.

"There are people watching!" she growled.

"Let them watch." he said, making her turn horrified as he lifted her in his arms in a bridal carry.

"Put me down this instant!" she yelled, utterly ashamed to see the other patrons look at them with knowing smile.

"Uh-hu!" he hummed amused while kissing the tip of her nose.

"We are no longer kids! Act your age!" she hissed with a burning-red face.

"There is the Karin I fell in love with! I knew little Louise had took her attitude from somewhere!" he said, laughing.

"How much have you drunk?!" she asked, turning redder at each new kiss and kicking a little with her feet to break free of his bridal carry, only making the amused chuckles of the other customers grow a bit louder as a result of the cutesy scene.

"Just two glasses. I just decided that since you are being childish in pretending to be a stern aristocrat, it was time I helped you letting go and admit that deep down, you are a big _softie_."

"I have to uphold our family name! We are not two dirty commoners!"

"You didn't say that the night we conceived our first daughter!"

"_Kyah_!" Karin bellowed in shame, covering her face with both hands...And then she noticed what she had just done, and with utter fear she dared to peak through her fingers to see the knowing smile on her husband face…

And just as her stone mask crumbled, she too did, in a dead faint.

"Hahahaha! Oh, so dramatic, my dear! Truly, holding back your feelings was bad for you if just by letting go you faint like this!" he said, laughing loudly.

"I will take her home, Monsieur Ryu. Please let us know if you manage to find and contact our daughter."

"I will." Ryu answered, smiling gently as always.

"...Ehm...The money pouch is on my hip...C-Could you, you know? I have my hands...Kinda _full_." the man then said with a sheepish expression.

"AH! O-Of course! Pardon me." Ryu answered uneasy while fumbling with the man's behind.

"Thank you. That Liqueur, _Whiskey, _what is that exactly?"

"It's name comes from the Gaelic Language: _Uisge_, and it means '_Water of Life'_, and at its birth it was mostly used as a medicine. It was created by monks to cover for the lack of wine, a drink hard to obtain it their lands," Ryu answered.

"Water of life..._Aqua Vitae_...It's an apt name. Next time I come, I will drink it properly, in one of your fancy _cocktails_, so I will pay it proper respect." the man declared.

"Of course, Monsieur."

"Farewell, we'll see again in seven days."

"We will wait for you." Ryu answered simply, watching the door close behind the two.

_Creeeak!_

Just as the door closed, it opened again to let another guest enter.

"Welcome." and as always, Ryu was ready to welcome the new-comer.

That was the **Eden Cat** bar, guests coming and going, every one of them with their stories, sometimes funny and sometimes sad, but all of them were welcomed in there, with its Bartender ready to serve, to listen, and never to judge.

As he was the Glass of God.

**\- After hours, or "What the others liked to drink" -**

**Table 1**

"Ah don't know! This' may be a bit too much _froufrou_ for mah tastes!"

"Just trust me on this one."

"Can I?" Ryu asked gently, holding a small tray in his hand.

"Please do, Darling."

"For our esteemed Fashion Artist, your usual: **Black Velvet**."

"Perfect."

"For a lover of apples: **Apple Breeze."** the young Bartender said moving on the table a highball glass.

(**Apple Breeze: **_Half a cup of Apple Cider mixed with a shot of Malibu Rum, or two, depending on tastes)_.

"For a strong-willed mare dealing with weather: _**Bright and Rainy**__."_

"Eh! Cheeky foal, you wanna make me drink rain?" she asked with a smirk.

(_**Bright and Rainy:**__ Gin, Peach Schnapps and ginger beer/ginger ale_)

"For a funny, hyperactive Party Star: _**Hurricane**_. Please be careful, while very sweet, it still contains alcohol."

"Oh so very apt! The name alone fits you perfectly!" **Black Velvet** said with a coy smile, getting a raspberry from her friend.

(_**Hurricane**_:_ Dark Rum, Passion Fruit Syrup and fresh lemon juice_.)

"I-I-I don't do well with alcohol..." one of them said with a low voice.

"I warned him beforehoof, Shy."

"Correct, so here it is, your non-alcoholic Cocktail: _**Cinderella**_." Ryu answered, giving her a simple glass with a bright reddish cocktail in it.

"Oh! Thank you..."

"My pleasure, young miss."

(_**Cinderella: **__Orange juice, pineapple juice, lemon juice, Grenadine Syrup, Soda or sparkling water._)

"What about me?" the last one asked, even too much curious.

"If you put down that notepad for a second, he is going to show you."

"Sorry." she answered, sheepish.

"No harm done. Here it is: **The Bookworm**."

"Ow, come on!"

"Sorry, When I told him that was one of your nick-names, he suggested it."

"There is nothing wrong in being an acculturated scholar. Intelligence is not something to be ashamed of." Ryu added.

"...Thank you..." she answered, looking pleased by the explanation.

**Table 2 - **

"Another round, Ryu!" _**Long Island**_ asked while rising her glass.

"Of course, madame." the Bartender answered immediately.

"Are you not overdoing?" the very short man next to her squeaked unsure.

"You said you were offering, Filius, you cannot get back on your word now!"

"Pomona is right! And you didn't look like you mind either." the old woman added.

"Libel!" the very short man answered as two green glasses were positioned in front of the two guests of _**Long Island.**_

"Here it is, two glasses of _Garden of Green _and another _Long Island_." Ryu said with a gentle smile.

(_**Garden of Green:**__ Vodka, apple mint leaves, lemon juice and snap pea reduction, a splash of Soda Water.)_

"To think Muggles came up with so many different mixtures of alcohol..."

"_Butterbeer _and _Fire-whiskey_ do tend to become boring after a while."

"That reminds me, I need to bring dear Ryu a bottle of _Ogden's Finest_, I believe he will be able to create some amazing things with it." _**Long Island**_ muttered.

"That I want to taste!" the very short man admitted, laughing.

_Slam!_

It was then that the door was pushed open by a furious Karin (AKA _**Gin Tonic**_), making every guest immediately get ready for battle to defend THEIR bar, making Ryu sweat-drop at the over-protectiveness of his regulars.

"RYU! I have a bunch of old fossils filling my living room in misplaced sense of superiority! I wanted to play host for the Queen herself, but her guests are driving me up the wall with their '_Hollier than Thou'_ attitude! I need ten glasses of a cocktail so outlandish, good and classy that they will weep in inferiority towards my family for ages to come!" the woman asked with blazing eyes.

"So...I have to destroy people's self-esteem?" Ryu asked, just to be sure.

"YES! Drive it to the ground and even lower!"

"It kind of goes against what a Bartender is supposed to be..."

"Please?" she begged.

"..." looking around, the Bartender saw that every guest was now looking away and humming loudly, clearly giving-up their role as '_witnesses' _of the dirty affair.

"...I'll see what I can do..." the young man muttered, dejected.

"Thank you!" the woman said with an excited tone, fervently watching him start mixing expertly, albeit with a miserable expression on his face.

For months afterwards, Karin will keep leaving behind very generous _tips_ and telling him tales of defeated nobles crying in shame at her '_superiority_' or something similar, all for his despair.

_**Suggestions/requests about characters and storylines are welcomed with open arms.**_

**I wanted to try a "Slice of Life" Story for once, and in order to do so, the chapters had to be shorter still, more than usual, and to make up for it, I decided to have 2 episodes per chapter (_2000 to 3000 words each_) so to still give each chapter a proper length.**

**I am no Master Brewer/Bartender, I am taking both descriptions/reaction from the original "Bartender" Manga and/or looking on internet for recipes/history behind the various liqueurs/cocktails that will appear here.**

**This should, _IDEALLY_, be a more 'Relaxing' story, hopefully.**

**Should you see characters from other franchises, keep in mind this: I am trying to go a bit deeper into the humanity of the characters, beyond their '_idolized'_ character, technically they ARE living beings, they too have down times and moments of sorrow and sadness.**

**Try thinking outside your "_shonen"_ for once.**

_**A Little Game: Are you able to tell who are the guests that appeared in this Chapter? Tell me in the reviews!**_


	2. Orochi Isekai in a Fantasy world

**My secondary account elsewhere is giving nice results, I am both glad and impressed.**

**And my haters can kindly go fuck themselves.**

**This is a Isekai Story with a smart and asshole MC of the '_Evil Alignment'_, that doubles as a Revenge Story, so not for people that like hero stories with goodie-two-shoes MCs that are pragmatic like a sack of rocks.**

**Here the MC is Orochimaru, transported in a new world after dying LONG after the events of Boruto the manga.**

**If I manage I will poke cruel fun at the tropes of Isekai and Manga, do not expect Orochi to play by the rules/tropes of the genre.**

**Why Orochimaru? I initially wanted to use Itachi, but I wanted a '_bad Guy'_ as the MC, able to do even unspeakable evil if there is the need.**

**.Sorry.**

**Have a Good Day!**

" **You bastard"** \- demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback/thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or whatever I will use here in this fic. **

**The Demon Lord with Snake Eyes. Chapter 1: Molting.**

**Konoha – Ruins of Orochimaru's house - **

_Aaah, why did he do that?_

"Nngh! Uugh!" Orochimaru hissed as he pressed down on the wound on his chest (a huge, gaping hole) almost tearing his body in half.

_The attack was just so damn sudden! And yet, it was nothing that mattered to him!_

"NNNGH!…Aaahn!" the snake Sage grunted in exertion as he_ slowly_ dragged himself towards the basement, where his last _extra body_ was lying in wait, if he was fast enough, maybe he could enact a body change and save his life.

_Aaah! Yes, they tried to hurt Mitsuki...That's why he was reduced like this…_

"Ungh!...U-ungh!" almost there, that is the door!

_Was it compassion then?...Or merely his wish to defend the only artificial human that actually gained his own free will?…_

"_Can it be because you love the kid? You know, like a son?"_

"Gah!"

_God, that is the last thing he needed, blood-loss-induced hysteria, and in Jiraiya's voice too!_

"_Is not hysteria, you moron. I just came to collect you. Come on, Sensei is waiting!_"

"A-Ah!" Orochimaru tiredly shifted so to be face-up, and in his blurry vision he saw a humanoid shadow offer him its hand.

"_Never I would have dreamed of the day the Great Orochimaru would have troubles understanding something! You shoved your kid away to take that blow because you care about him."_ the shadow said.

"Ugh!" even if at a step away from death, the snake Sannin managed to form a frown on his face.

"_Aaah! Such a Tsundere thing from you! You have gone soft!"_

_God, was this his punishment? Suffering shame after shame before dying?_

"_You lived a damn long life! Mitsuki is a Jounin already! He and the others will soon save Konoha, all thanks to you! This small act of martyrdom is the catalyst for the salvation of the Village! aren't you proud?"_

"S-S-Screw...Y-You..."

"_...__Still the ray of sunshine I remember. Come on, let's go! A couple thousand years in purgatory and you will be able to join us others! You- What the hell?!_" the shadow started saying cheerfully, only for a strange and sinister purple light to engulf Orochimaru's already piss-poor field of vision.

"_**NO! I WON'T ACCEPT THIS! WE WERE FRIENDS! WHY?! WHY!?**_" a new voice, very young and filled to the brim in grief and madness rang in the Sannin's ears.

"_**WHY YOU DID THIS?! I JUST WANTED PEACE!"**_

"_What's this?! Orochi! Grab my hand! Hurry! NOO!"_ the shadow hurriedly extended its arm to grab his, but Orochimaru could feel the last strands of life abandon him, making him feel like falling down a bottomless, dark pit before he could grab the hand of his old friend, making the spirit's scream of horror echo faintly around him before everything _blinked_ into complete darkness.

"_**I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!**_" the same young voice roared through the void, hatred and madness swirling into every word like a vortex of shadows.

**Untold amount of time later - 100th floor of the '_Supreme Dungeon'_ \- Throne Room -**

"_GUAH!"_ gasping for air, Orochimaru opened his eyes to a world of pain, every inch of his body almost broken and bleeding heavily.

"**So...You still live..."** a deep, rumbling voice said in derision, albeit tired and low as a whisper.

"Who...Are you?" the Sannin asked.

"**You don't remember me? AH! We just fought and you already forgot about me, you are trying to shame me to death!**" with his eyes finally adjusting to the utter darkness of the room, the speaker was finally visible.

It was a giant monstrosity, six meters tall, with yellow scaled skin that had been burned into a crisp and covered in cuts from which black blood was gushing out with the consistency of molasses; the thing clearly used to have bat wings and four arms, but the wings and three of his arms had been cut away, along his legs and tail; even his mouth had not been spared as he had several fangs missing and one eye had been gouged-out, leaving him with just the other three.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Orochimaru asked faintly with a voice he knew was not his, it was way too young, of a preteen at best.

"**Eh! That little bastard hit you hard if you not remember a thing!...Unless...**" the monster tiredly shifted to the side to lock eyes with the Sannin.

"**...Aaah! I see...****What's your name?"** the thing asked.

"I am Orochimaru, Snake Sage."

"**Grundal'han, Demon Lord.**" the monster answered.

"Demon Lord?"

"**I used to be one, at least. Before your band of friends came to kill me. Or Better, the band of friends of that body you are ****now**** inside did it."** Grundal answered with a mirthless chuckle.

"The body I am inside? I managed to switch bodies?" Orochimaru muttered, incredulous.

"**You are used to ****jump bodies****? Then it makes ****my theory**** even more ****plausible****...I can recognize a Curse when I see one, ****after all****!**"

"You are speaking nonsense!" _COUGH! COUGH! COUGH! _The Sannin said, exploding soon after in heavy coughs that drenched his hand in blood.

"**Give me a minute...YOU, COME HERE! I SUMMON THEE!"** the Demon Lord ordered to the room, and a small, orange-sized ball of living clear liquid appeared before him.

"**Barely able to summon a slime...My power is indeed gone. Heal him, you useless trash!**"

Following the rude order, the small thing rapidly rolled towards Orochimaru so to cover his entire chest in the same clear slime that formed its body, immediately giving the man a small moment of relief.

"It healed me?"

"**It patched you up a little, nothing much as you are still bleeding to death like me."**

"Why helping me? And what do you mean with a Curse?" the shinobi asked.

"**I can't heal myself as the fatal wound has been done using the '**_Holy Sword'_**, my whole being will never heal from that wound, and since it was an attack dealt to kill me, I can only wait ****for my life to fade away****. As for the Curse, that is simple: you are inside the body of the former owner of the '**_**Hero'**_** Title."**

"Hero? Former?"

"**I don't know where you come from, but I hope you heard stories of young men and women destined to save the world from evil and bring peace, yes?**"

"Yes, they usually are bright-eyed, overly-faithful brats unable to understand that the world is not a nice place."

"**Cynical, but also right on one! You described the last owner of that body perfectly! At least...He was like that until the moment his '**_**Best Friend'**_** stabbed him in the back, stole all his powers and even '**_**Title'**_** and together with his ****other ****former friends simply left ****him to die****."** the Demon Lord answered, his laugh just a broken wheeze because of his wounds.

"Dying alone with the Monster he was destined to fight, o so very tragic." Orochimaru said, nonplussed.

"**Ooh! He did die! But with his last breath he cursed his friend, the girl that he loved and that betrayed his trust, his companions and even the entire kingdom! He cursed them all! Problem is, he knew he no longer had a shred of Magic or Abilities to do the deed himself, so I guess his grief and hatred summoned here somebody able to take revenge for him."**

"I was dying already, and I see no reason to go through this revenge plan."

"**Do you have other plans in mind? You probably died in your old world, so you have no way to return home, doing the boy this small favor will at least help you kill some time until you come up with a plan yourself." **Grundal offered with a weak shrug.

"And what about you?"

"**I am about to die, since that brat still can't use the **_Holy Sword_ **of the Hero** **until he finds a way to overcome its magical defenses, they left me here to bleed to death, to be sure they cut off every limb except one arm, to mock me, I presume. At the rate I am losing blood and powers, in one year I will die, and then he and the kingdom will be free to come pillaging this dungeon as they pleased...Nine thousand years of hard work to amass my treasures...All to fill the pockets of a horny teen and some power-hungry humans..." **the monster answered with a miserable expression.

"Nine thousand years!? Are you immortal?!" Orochimaru asked immediately.

"**Immortality? That belongs to the Gods! Had I been immortal, I would not have been reduced like this, what do you think?!" **The monster answered in anger, thing that caused him to cough-out black blood by the buckets.

"So immortality cannot be achieved? Not even here where Magic seems to be so mundane?" Orochimaru asked with a sigh.

"**Why you want to be immortal? It's a hellish existence, unless you are a god, there are legends of people that gained immortality and winded-up ****insane**** from either see****ing**** everybody die or ****few well-placed**** curses of Gods."**

"..."

"**We are both about to die, may as well pass the time before our demise with some friendly conversation..." **the monster said with a shrug.

"...I hate the notion of growing old..."

"**Aaah! Yes, that is usually why they all desire immortality. They all hate to see themselves lose their edge, their sharp mind and strong body, to become a drooling idiot in need of constant assistance because too much _frail_ to be independent."**

"That and the notion of being '_obsolete'_." Orochimaru added, bitterly.

"**And nothing else?**"

"I hate the idea that after my death, I will no longer be able to see the world change, there are still many of its secrets I wish to unravel."

"**Thirst of knowledge, eh? That is rare instead…Say...I have an idea."**

"Which is?" the Sannin said with narrowed eyes, he could already smell the incoming offer of the monster.

"**You are technically here to take revenge for the boy that summoned you, would you mind taking revenge for me as well?"**

"And what would I get from this, let's hear!" Orochimaru asked, sarcastically.

"**My powers are almost completely gone, and without me, the '**_**Dungeon Core'**_** hidden in this room will cease to function, turning this masterpiece of mine in****to**** a mere cave for the first passing by to rob. I had plans to enslave this entire land and was instead killed by a little boy still smelling of breast-milk because he wielded the ONLY WEAPON able to hurt me, and that ****in itself ****just because my daughter betrayed me, first by falling in love with the Hero and then by being swayed by that ****fatty**** bastard that kill****ed**** that boy...I really want that party of '**_**Heroes'**_** to die or at least being humiliated, otherwise I will not rest in peace."**

"Again, what there is in there for me?"

"**As I said, immortality is stuff reserved to the Gods...But prolonging your Life as much as you want is technically possible, you won't be immortal, but you won't get old either! On the contrary, you may even be able to revert time and get back the youth you wasted up until that point. I am talking about ****a form of ****'**_**Eternal Youth'**_** you get to decide how long ****will**** lasts."**

"Oh!" Orochimaru uttered, impressed.

"**I used to have a crystal made with the amber of a special tree, every gram of that amber could prolong the consumer's life immensely, that is how I lived for nine thousand years! Unfortunately I used all of it, but I know for certain the tree still exists as every king of this land is tirelessly searching for it! I stole that gem from the royal castle of Alvazia Kingdom, the birthing land of your new body, they must know something more about the tree than the others! I know their king, that fool is too afraid of death to not look for a way to live longer!**"

"And now, since you gave me this information, you think I am indebted to you..."

"**Hehehehe! I knew you would say that, that is why I had a contingency plan!"**

"Uh?"

"**Sòèjdy6%&$£/)!PçéJI!**_"_

"_ARGH!"_the Sannin grasped his chest in pain, as a burning sensation made him feel like he was about to burst into flames.

_Obtained Title [Demon Lord]!_ _Congratulations!_

A voice whispered in his ear, making him go wide-eyed.

"**Bwahahahaha! I just nominated you my heir! At my death the dungeon will deactivate and my daughter will know somebody else took the Title she hoped would have been hers! Now you will have to go through my request otherwise they will never stop hunting you!"**

"Why would they?" Orochimaru asked in anger.

"**Because only the Demon Lord and The Hero working together can open the path to the Tree of Life! That mediocre Mage wanted the Hero title and seduced the Heiress of the Demon Lord Title to get to the tree and live forever, you just ruined his plans! Bwahahahahahaha!"**

"...That is why one should never trust a demon…So be it! Since you actually gave me half the key to the tree, and since both your daughter and her_ Lover_ are on my way to eternal youth,I shall help you and the former owner of this body get some justice. It will be my good deed for the century." Orochimaru finally relented with a condescending tone.

"**Bwahahaha! Oh my! How generous of you****! They still have no idea where the tree is, so they are in no hurry. Problem is, I don't know if I will manage to teach you everything you need to know to survive, thrive and conquer this world in a single year, ****even by pulling-out the memories of your new body****."** the former Demon Lord answered in great amusement.

"Just finish healing me, I will deal with the rest, by the look of your wounds, I guess I can prolong your life up to five years if you manage to get me the proper materials."

"**Five years is still a bit too little ****time**** to teach you. ****Whatever, once done you should**** take everything of value from this Dungeon and move its core away. You will need a Dungeon if you want to plan safely, ****as long as**** you are inside it, your powers will be increased exponentially ****as well****,**** and a powerful core like the one I used is simply unmatched."**

"You just start talking, I will deal with the rest."

"**If you are sure. Let me see if I can summon a couple more slimes to finish healing you."**

**Five years later – Dungeon entrance - **

A huge crowd, a mixture of soldiers and mages, was silently watching the ornate doors of the dungeon that were still firmly shut like they were five years prior after the defeat of the Demon Lord.

"How did he survive this long?" the pudgy young man in overly-decorated wizard robes said with a sneer.

"My father was not a mere demon, darling, I suppose he was tougher than we anticipated." the scantly-dressed black haired girl with bat wings next to him answered.

The young mage, the usurper of the _Hero _Title he managed to steal from its previous owner, was looking at those doors in hatred, as if hoping to smash them open with his eyes alone.

"He managed to close them...BIG DEAL! At his death, those will crumble to dust, and everything in there will be mine! I did not put-up with that moron just for nothing! He always refused money and fame because '_a real Hero does not need that'_! BULLSHIT! I need all that and more!"

"That is why you stole his girl too? I can't see why though, she is such a bimbo." the demon girl next to him asked huffing.

"Nah! That was merely revenge, he wasted the wealth his Title can produce, so I took it. And she is good at giving head, at least like that she shuts-up as a bonus...Waiting for marriage! Ah! What a sissy he was!"

**Deep inside the dungeon - **

"A sissy he may have been, for your standards, but you are a pig for mine! It's time, deactivate the Dungeon Core so that I can store it away! Let's open the door to the vultures!"

"As you wish, Lord Orochimaru."

**One minute later – outside - **

"HERE IT IS!" one of the Captain-rank soldiers in the front-lines said in excitement as the giant doors rusted rapidly and self-destructed into a pile of scraps of metal.

"Finally!" the Title Thief, Borgus, bellowed in unmatched greed.

"Remember! I get first pick!"

"Of course! Of course! The Hero has every right to this!" the old man accompanying the boy and the demon girl answered with an equally greedy smile.

"Something's wrong!" the demon girl, Petra, hissed with a low voice.

"What?" Borgus asked, annoyed.

"I did not get the Demon Lord Title!" she hissed, furious.

"It means that there must be some demon in there that managed to get it, have no fear, we'll steal it just like we took the Hero one. This is just a minor set back." he answered, squinting his piggish eyes in an unsettling smile.

"Unf! How dare they!" Petra answered with a frown worthy of a spoiled toddler.

"Let's just go, shall we? I want my loot, my money and my fame!"

"And I want daddy's dungeon core, we'll need it if we want to create our kingdom and rule this world." Petra added.

"Yees, I can't wait!"

"...I-I-IT'S EMPTY! There is nothing here!" one of the soldiers that firstly entered to scout the area yelled once exited the cave with a shocked expression.

"WHAT?!" both teens yelled as one in horror.

"Impossible!" the old man, the right hand of the King, roared in rage as he hurried forward, soon chased by the two.

**Three hours later - **

"NOTHING! THERE IS NOTHING! HOW CAN THIS BE!?" Borgus yelled in hysterics, wildly pointing his magical staff around.

"You stole my loot! Spit it out!" he yelled to the assembled soldiers, his madness-riddled grunting actually scaring those seasoned warriors.

"The Dungeon Core is gone too! HOW?!" Petra yelled with a high-pitched shriek.

"Some follower of your father must have took everything away!"

"How!? There are no other entrances! We camped outside this place ever since you two left as per our deal! There hasn't been a mere instant the entrance had been left unchecked! Even after it close right behind you!" the old man answered, just as angry.

"We found somebody! He's alive!" a guard yelled.

"Oh, God...Terence?" Petra said in horror.

"No, it can't be him! I got his Title, his Magic and his Skills! It means my cursed knife killed him!" Borgus answered, looking just as pale as she was.

"Here he is, he was in an abandoned cell. They drugged him up to his eyeballs!" another soldier said as he and his pal brought an old man in front of the group.

"Who are you?" the King's right hand asked with narrowed eyes.

"No...No Lord Snake...Please spare me..." the very old man slurred weakly, his eyes heavily clouded and his hair and beard unkempt.

"Lord Snake?" Petra asked, confused.

"My Lord...Please no! NO! NO!" the old man shrieked in pure fear, thrashing violently to break free from the soldiers' hold of his arms.

"Was there a snake between your father's servants?" Borgus asked.

"Daddy had a lot of servants, I never bothered to see how many or know each one of them, so I can't answer that." she answered, biting her lips in rage.

"My Lord...Mighty Ruler of Demons...I can't dig anymore! Please…Have mercy!" the prisoner begged in tears.

"Dig? Why digging?" Petra said.

"Lord Snake...Ruler of Demons...Digging...Probably whoever took everything prepared a secret escape route! That's why it took so long! The new Demon Lord already took control of the Dungeon Core and waited until their escape tunnel was ready before turning it off to leave!" the King's right hand growled in anger.

"LOOK EVERYWHERE! FIND THAT TUNNEL! FIND MY TREASURE!" Borgus howled immediately after, he himself looking everywhere for said secret tunnel.

"What about this man?" one of the guards asked.

"He is useless to us, one of you just take him outside and kill him, in his current state, it will be an act of mercy. Just bury him in a shallow grave, I fear there won't be somebody to cry his death."

"Yes, sir!" one of the guards said, lifting the old prisoner on his shoulders to carry him outside.

"You others keep looking! They can't have gone far!"

**Meanwhile – with the guard - **

Having walked a good dozen meters away from the crowd and reached a nice-enough alcove of the forest, the soldier gently deposited the old man on the ground to look at him with pity.

"You had it rough, grandpa. But have no fear, soon you will feel better, I am sorry." the soldier said, sniffling a little while unsheathing his sword and positioning it above the old man's chest.

"T-T-Treasure..." the prisoner whispered weakly.

"Uh? Treasure? What treasure?" the soldier asked.

"T-Treasure..."

"Grandpa? What treasure are you talking about?" the young man asked eagerly.

"C-Closer...P-Please..."

"I am here, grandpa. You can trust me." gaining a more sinister smile, the soldier knelt down and grabbed one of the old man's hand in both of his.

"A-And you...Should have not trusted me…" the old man said with a malevolent smirk.

"What do you-_**GURGLE!**_" what the soldier wanted to ask turned into a choking gasp as an entire arm burst out of the old man's mouth, grabbing the soldier's throat tightly.

_CRUNCH!_

With a dull, sickening sound the man's neck went easily snapped and his windpipe crushed, no sound came out as he just died with a barely-audible whimper.

"...Really, the younger they are, the easier it is to tempt them." the old man said with a way younger voice.

The arm already outside went soon joined by another, both hands grabbing the side of the old man's mouth so that a younger man could exit from that small opening, like a snake molting its old skin away.

"The Test was a success! My chakra is back and this body is finally attuned to it!" Orochimaru said happily as he studied his body, aptly modified through five years of tireless work to resemble his old one, now able to use the chakra and knowledge his transmigration brought along in his rebirth in the new world.

He had even remade his old clothes, except the purple bow, and turned his hair into the sleek long black ones he was used to, along making his eyes snake-like like before...In short, Orochimaru the Snake Sannin was finally back! Only several decades younger! Thing that made him especially happy.

"Everything is sealed away and every demon that knew about me is dead and their bodies collected in the sealing scrolls as well. Good, I covered every base to erase my existence, it's time to get to work if I want to live forever!" Orochimaru, once buried both old man's remains and soldier's corpse, said before dashing away at high speed through the forest, using the memories of his new body and the info the former Demon Lord gave him before his death to determine his first stop: a mining city not too far away from that dungeon.

**Two days later – Mining City - Inn - **

"Have you heard? Apparently the dungeon of the Demon Lord has already been emptied!" a young adventurer said in annoyance.

"Already?! For fuck sake! Were they waiting outside the door? Unbelievable! After all the walking we did to come here!" her companion answered in angry disbelief.

"Huhuhuhu!" Orochimaru simply laughed softly, drinking his tea and amusing himself by eavesdropping the other guests of the inn from a dark corner of the main room.

"Hey there! Mind if I sit here?" a man in heavy armour and with fiery red hair and beard said jovially while sitting in front of the Sannin.

"You already did." the other answered with a hiss.

"Mere details, my friend." the juggernaut in shining armour replied chuckling heartily and already ordering a giant mug of beer to one of the waitresses around.

"Dawn was merely an hour ago, how can you already be hitting beer?"

"It is too soon if you have just woke-up! Me instead, I've been awake for the past two days chasing those damn demon gorillas...Dobo...Bolo..."

"Dodonba." Orochimaru, already annoyed to his limits, corrected him.

"Those. Damn smelly things! Pays well selling their skin, but its a pain to chase those cowards around."

"Is there a reason why you are sitting with me? I know the place is almost empty, but there are still better people to annoy beside me."

"Aw, you hurt me, Brother! I am here to talk business with you, nothing more!" the knight said with a childish pout, something very unsettling with how '_wild'_ his mane of hair and beard looked, giving him a very lion-like appearance.

"Why me?"

"You look very unnatural, between your grey skin, snake eyes and the sheer air around you. I can tell you are a very '_interesting man'_, and usually, interesting men are the best ones to make affairs with, especially jobs a bit outside the law."

"I am not part demon, if that is what you think." Orochimaru said with a knowing smirk.

"You aren't? Then...how did you..."

"A quirk of nature, shall we say."

"The offer still stands! I can assure you that if you help me, 20% of the cut will be yours."

"Twenty? That's a bit low." the Sannin said, chuckling.

"Hey! I am getting the 30% myself! We are acting without a Guild, mercenary job never pays well,"

"And why, pray tell, are you acting without a Guild? Something that is widely-known to be illegal?"

"I just got kicked-out of my Guild, '_Sword of Bravery'_, and I reaaaaally need money if I want to get back to the capital and apply to a new guild." the giant of a man answered, sheepish.

"They kicked you out? For what? You got drunk?" Orochimaru asked, faintly curious.

"No...I may...Or may have not...Slept my my Guild Leader's girlfriend...And sister...And mother...And '_lover'_...At the same time." the man admitted with a super low whisper even the shinobi had trouble catching.

"_So he tried to pull a 'Jiraiya', only he actually succeeded._ _Impressive_." while he thought that, on the outside the Sannin simply lifted an eyebrow at that admission.

"Yeah, in hindsight he probably had every right to kick me out and try to kill me, but in my defence, I did not know that was his mother."

"The Capital...What mission are we talking about?" developing a calculative light in his eyes, Orochimaru asked with a perfect unconcerned tone.

"There is this girl, an heiress of some noble or stuff like that. She had escaped from home for some reason and has finally been found here in this small town working under fake identity in a weapon shop. Her daddy's shining guards have already come to collect her, but just to be sure, me, you and few others will need to follow the carriage from slightly back, just in case she escapes again."

"So, baby-sitting?" Orochimaru asked, frowning.

"I know, it's a pain, but money's money! We common thugs can't be too picky."

"I am no thug, thank you." the Sannin answered with vitriolic scorn.

"Oh really?" the other replied with a challenging smirk.

"Really. When do we depart? I too need to get to the Capital,"

"Bwhahahahaha! I knew you would have relented! We depart tomorrow at dawn, partner! I am Lionell, also known as '_The Fierce Lion_'! What about you?" the giant man said in insufferable pride.

"Orochimaru."

"No family name? No edgy nickname? Poor thing! We all get a nickname after a while! What kind of insensible bastard refused to give you one?" Lionell asked in mock outrage.

"I don't need an edgy nickname, Lionell, I am no longer fifteen." the Sannin answered, chuckling darkly while walking away.

"HOY! Who are you calling childish!?...WAIT! YOU LEFT THE TAB ON ME?!"

"Perhaps."

"YOU BASTARD!" the giant knight shrieked as the unassuming, tiny waitress glared him into submission and forced him to pay, even if she was barely half of his height.

**Two weeks later – Capital – old book store - **

"And as you can see, the storage room is pretty big." the old man, forced to walk with a heavily-bent back and a sturdy walking stick due to his very old age, finished saying with a proud smile once opened the door to the _long_ stairway acting as the only entrance of the ridiculously wide room deep underground.

"Why is it so big?" Orochimaru asked, honestly curious.

"Hehehe! One hundred years ago this used to be a garrison for the guards, then the wall was breached and the Capital almost fell into enemy hands, my grandfather happened to save the life of the King from a pincer attack and once things calmed down and we won that small war, the King accepted my Grandpa's request of having the half-destroyed building rebuilt and be his to use as a shop...Since they already planned to enlarge the ring of walls and build a new garrison, the request was approved, and ever since then my family worked here, first as a blackmisth, and then as a book store with me. It's not the Royal Library the Royal family uses, but there isn't a single noble that doesn't come here." the old man answered with a proud tone.

"A bit run-down for such an important place." Orochimaru answered, amused.

"I fell a little from grace after that ungrateful bastard of my son ran away with all my money...A good name doesn't help if you can't pay taxes...I hope you like working hard, because it will be hard at the beginning, you will fight an uphill battle against the bad name that brat gave to this store."

"I'll manage. Here is your money." the former Sannin answered, throwing a small sack to the old man.

"Ooh-oooh! Very heavy, just the way I like it!" the old jeezer commented, pleased by the loud tinkling of coins coming from the small thing.

"That is half the sum, the other half will be ready by next month, just like we decided."

"Very well! I have left inside a stack of notes, mostly the names and prices of my old acquaintances plus few good '_Hunters'_, if you want to squeeze every cent out of foolish collectors, you'll need a nice selection of rare tomes and those guys will find them...for the right price." the old man said with a devious smirk, before leaning a bit closer to better whisper.

"There is also a list of..._Gentlemen_...That will be eager to pay even more than necessary should you rent part of the storage room for them to use and keep some stuff hidden...You know what am I saying?"

"I do, I do. But what if I am some good boy that is against such a thing as contraband?" Orochimaru asked back with a challenging tone.

"Hohohohoho! Why should I care? The notes would be good even as a way to trap them and get them arrested! It would still bring you some pocket change since the current King is a bit stingy when it comes to rewards, same going for the Guilds, that is why only those poor fells with a '_Hate-Boner'_ for wrong-doings still bother with those Missions, they do it for the cause, not for money." the old man answered, laughing.

"Just some pocket change? Then I guess I will keep up the services as storage room." Orochimaru answered, he too quite amused by the thing.

"Good boy! There is still hope for the new generations then! All this talk about heroes is turning the youngsters into morons."

"I thought there was only one Hero." the Sannin asked.

"Yes and No. the _**Title**_ of Hero can be held by just one guy, but the general term of _'Heroes'_ is still used for those Super-Good/Veterans/Legendary warriors from the guilds...Let's say they are '_Lesser Heroes'_ compared to the one with the Title, but never call them that, they will get mad. They don't like being considered Second Class just because they don't have a shining Title slapped to their name." the other explained.

"I see, that would also explain those idiotic nicknames."

"It's just business, nothing personal. It makes it easier for a client to choose one guild over another if their members have a good eye-catching Nickname...And of course there are few that go overboard and fall into Cringe territory."

"That will be all for now, with your permission I will enter and start seeing from where I will need to start renovating." Orochimaru answered with an uncaring tone.

"You do that. If you need, I live not too far away from here, third house to the left once passed the fountain. Take care, I wish you good businesses." the old man replied, giving a last longing look at the book store before slowly walking away.

"I won't exactly need good businesses, old man. But appearances still have to be maintained." Orochimaru muttered to himself with a cruel smirk as he entered and locked the door behind himself.

The place was a mess, but its giant storage room was what he needed, and its being once added a new secret room under it thanks to the Dungeon Core, his new secret lab will be ready.

"And I already have a dozen test subjects! Dear Lionell thought about stabbing me in the back once done with our little Mission! Ufufufufufu! Poor fool, I have been doing this for way longer than him." the Snake Sannin muttered with a cold smirk of malice.

He had left the giant man and his cronies tied-up like salami and drugged up to their eyeballs in a cave no too far away from the town, having understood that he was about to be betrayed by them half-way through their kind-of-illegal escort Mission, and once drugged them all, he personally completed the job and pocketed the entire sum, money that he will use to buy the place and turn it into his secret base and Dungeon...Because he knew nobody would even remotely think that the new Demon Lord would be so brazen to re-create a dungeon right in the middle of the greatest capital of the human kingdoms.

And even then, the '_Dungeon'_ will be just two rooms acting as his main laboratory, with the full power of the Dungeon Core used to hide it from _**everything**_ so to not be sensed, the seals he developed in his previous life to hide his bases too will be very helpful in making sure nobody will know.

After all, he just wanted Eternal Youth, not rule the world, so he didn't need any grandiose army or Dungeon to show-off his power and call attention on himself, he was smarter than that.

**This is the first chapter.**

**The story would ideally "_Deconstruct" _the concept of Isekai and fantasy in general, hopefully with a pragmatic MC eager to use the discrepancies in the Isekai and the Fantasy genre to his benefit, especially the common '_Plot holes'_ and '_Cliche'_ that normally plague the genre.**

**Suggestions for this would be of GREAT HELP, especially examples of cliche/discrepancies that always pop-up in the Isekai genre that I may have missed.**


	3. Wuxia VS Manga

****M********y haters can kindly fuck off and die.****

****The only thing they are good for is giving me a new idea though.****

****I got hooked on Chinese Manwha and Animation, since I found the Japanese one to be a bit stale as every "Mainstream" anime/manga still follows the same tripe of cliches and the more obscure ones 90% of the time either do that too or are bad for other reasons.****

****BUT! Chinese Wuxia...Oooh! Where to start?! THEY ARE DIFFERENT! They ********tell******** epic stories with OP characters that are still interesting to read! They tell of amazing scenery and ********battles********!...Sure, since some of them dwell in Rebirth/Reincarnation with OP characters it's easy to find bad ones, but when one discovers THE Diamond hidden between the garbage, OOOOH! They are fantastic!****

**_**Gourmet in another world.**_**

**_**Emperor of Solo Play.**_**

**_**King's Avatar**_**

**_**The Warlock of the Magus World.**_**

**_**A Will Eternal.**_**

**_**Tales of Demons and Gods.**_**

**_**Otherworldly Evil Monarch.**_**

****And s********o many ********more ********I found ********ever since I started********, and so many I fell in love with!****

****Some of those Wuxia ********even ********write of ********Egotistical, self-centered, rotten, almost-Evil merciless Bastards as the main character********s********! and I LOVE IT! ****

****SO! Since the complain I heard the most about, besides my English and Grammar ********being bad,******** is that I don't write Naruto/any other character ******_**EXACTLY AS THEY ARE IN CANON**_****** (******_Stop whining, I won't do that EVER, read and support the original series if you want THAT_******) and just "******_**Create an OC with the same name, Waaa-Waaa-Waaa!**_******", I will do just that, ON PURPOSE THIS TIME.****

****HERE WE ARE: ********A WUXIA MARTIAL ARTIST REINCARNATING INSIDE NARUTO'S BABY BODY.****

****THERE!****

****A selfish, egocentric, ********hedonistic, Self-centered, Evil******** Main Character wearing Naruto's face; do you hate it? ******_**GOOD**_******! The first goal of this story is already completed then! AH!****

****Salty? Yes, so what? ****

****For everybody else with a more open mind and will to give authors enough trust to see what they are about to do, thank you for giving this story a chance.****

**_**Disclaimer**_******: I don't own a thing, please support the official release********s of what I use********.****

" **You bastard"** \- demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback/ Thoughts

MC is called Shen Lan-Yun (Lan-Yun, " 兰韵 " means Orchid melody.)

**The rebirth of the Dragon. Chapter 1: Reincarnation. **

**Jade Mountain – Spiritual Stream Sect – Ruins of a desecrated Temple -**

The armies of five of the six Sects of the _Yuntian Continent_ were all gathered around what once was the sacred mountain of THE most ancient and honorable Sect of them all, a mountain housing the holiest of temples, one where only ten Cultivators per generation were permitted to enter; ten chosen ones summoned between MILLIONS of adepts at Qi Cultivation that would then congregate and study so to advance their knowledge in Martial Arts and hope to be the one that would be chosen by the three Great Elders living there, deemed worthy of becoming their pupil so to learn about the Secrets of the Universe and hopefully ascend to become a Legend.

But today was not a day of celebration, it was a day of mourning, of rage and of hatred.

Exactly a day prior, somebody attacked the sacred Orchid Mountain Temple as he had promised, tearing his way through its gates and leaving behind one-hundred-thousand dead Cultivators haphazardly thrown around like trash, and beyond that mountain of corpses, the ten thousand Temple Guards and every single monk in there too could be found, slain and guttered like the others.

Shen Lan-Yun...A man whose talent as a Cultivator was said to be one even the Gods envied, the Prodigy to end ALL Prodigies, and a man that could attain such mind-blowing titles by breaking every Taboo in the world of Cultivation so to achieve his goals...Whatever those were as nobody could tell what he was after.

The Sects in the Yuntian Continent were formerly six: The _**Spiritual Stream**_ Sect, the _**Stars Conquering**_ Sect, the _**Bamboo Splitting**_ Sect, the _**Beastman**_ Sect, the _**Celestial Plains**_ Sect and the _**Diabolical Gorge**_ Sect...All of them had been laid to waste in the span of merely three years with the _**Diabolical Gorge**_ Sect being now a desolate wasteland devoid of life, no longer existing.

Very few remembered Shen Lan-Yun as the only child of a piss-poor wine-maker of the _**Bamboo Splitting**_ Sect, but instead every one of them remembered him as the old man that avenged his father's death by destroying utterly and completely the _**Diabolical Gorge**_ and killing every man, woman and beast in there as soon as his Cultivation reached a high-enough level...And from whatever twisted knowledge he had stolen from the ruins of that land of corruption and depravity, the man's campaign for power had started with new fervor, soon making fire and blood rain over the entire continent for years to come.

"So...Here we are...He really did it. He committed the greatest of sins." Mu Xu-Yao, THE Champion of Champions, said shouldering the jade lance that helped him become a living-legend and the personal guard of the Emperor himself at just thirty years of age.

"This happens when a child's cry for help is ignored in favour of politics and hidden agendas; one can never know if a snowflake will just disappear among millions of others or finally give birth to an avalanche. Part of this is to be blamed on us, this sea of hatred started when we refused to recognize the first wave for what it was." a venerable old man, the LAST member of the _**Celestial Plains**_ Sect still alive, answered while passing a hand on his long beard, thick whirlwinds of pure golden Qi energy moving restless around him and ready to attack.

"Yes, he begged for years to finally have justice for his father's death, but compared to the life of a Sect Elder, the life of a Wine Maker unable to even Cultivate Qi was deemed worthless." a woman with bear-like features answered while palming her giant war ax.

"That life was worthless for many of us, and especially so for the Elder that ordered the man dead for such a small matter as bad wine being given to try '_buying'_ some mercy for him and his son...But for a child, the life of a parent is more valuable than the life of the Gods themselves, and Shen Lan-Yun was more than happy to remember us this, my fellow Champions." another woman said while preparing her own weapon: a pair of fans composed by dozens of sharp knives bound together.

"Then why he kept waging war against all of us? He got his revenge when he exterminated the Elder's family and then drowned him in their accumulated blood...Why continuing to kill and destroy after that?" Mu Xu-Yao asked in distress, horrified just like the others were by the memories of what Shen had done through the years.

"He was responsible for the destruction of an entire Sect, you really believe he would have been left alone after that?" the Bear Woman asked mockingly.

"I also suspect that he discovered something while killing Elder Xiao, the _**Diabolical Gorge**_ Sect had always dwelt in the most obscure forms of Cultivation and rituals, always toeing the thin line between Taboo and Acceptable. Knowledge that permitted to that tiny Sect to enlarge and become one of the biggest in a very short time by devouring everything around them...I can only guess what he must have discovered in those hellish halls, something that either had him lose his mind to madness, or that corrupted him to the point of turning into the demon we all know." the venerable old man replied.

"_Neither of the two, Old man..._" A whisper answered in cold hatred, making those champions and the assembled army with them tremble in shock and fear.

"Shen Lan-Yun!" the old man replied with a chastising tone, and blasting away the man's own evil presence with great difficulty in a flare of his golden Qi.

"Lord Hùndùn!" (Lord Chaos) the bear woman growled in fury, using one of the MANY nicknames Shen had been bestowed with through the decades of his endless bloody campaign.

"_I am sorry, but I cannot welcome you properly in person, I am waiting for the last Elder here to bleed to death...Then it will be the turn of our '_Esteemed'_ Emperor." _Shen answered mockingly, and the voice projection shamelessly reached every man or woman or beastman present so that nobody could miss his answer.

"NOOOO!" Mu Xu-Yao yelled in horror.

"_Poor Mu-Mu...Surprised to hear about your dear Emperor being here with me? Do you already miss his touch? His sweet talk after he has done taking his jollies with your '_Lovely'_ posterior?...Really, there is knowledge even _**I**_, Shen Lan-Yun, can happily live without...Your being this old fossil's love toy being the top of that list." _the man answered, and his spiritual projection didn't miss the chance to also broadcast his disgust.

"Mu Xu-Yao..." the woman with the battle-fans muttered shocked, and all of them taking the young man's ashamed silence as the only answer they needed.

"_What's wrong, Po? Saddened that the man you fawned on prefers to '_Take'_more __than to '_Give'_? Ah! You so-called '_Champions'_ are all the same...All imagine and no substance!"_

"Why are you doing this, Shen? You got your revenge! What use did it have for killing everybody else?" the venerable old man asked.

"_Yes, I did get my Revenge __after seventy long years of training and planning__. I did take pleasure in mutilating and torturing the whores and bastards born from that Old Shit's loins. I __hunted-down and __exterminated every descendant he ever had, both known and unknown and even __the ones he had__ from the various '_mistresses'_ and whores he had hidden all around the Continent; I did it and I was ready to walk to King Enma's Palace with my head held high and ready for my punishment __once finished erasing his bloodline__...But then...I discovered a little __secret of yours, and I changed my plans__._" Shen answered, and in that instant a wretched cry of anguish resounded from the top of the mountain beyond the clouds, chilling the blood in everybody's veins.

"_That was the last Elder...Now...The last piece..._"

"What was this secret you discovered, eh!? I want to hear how you will justify all those deaths!" the bear woman yelled.

"_Justify? I don't have to justify a thing! Hahahaha! I am merely giving the finishing touches to a __forgotten incomplete __ritual the __**Diabolical Gorge **__Sect has been tasked to recover and complete by the orders of the Emperor himself __oh so many years ago! A task they could __manage__ on__ly__ thanks to __the help of few others...__I__sn't that right, Old man Zao?...I have read the __**Golden Scroll**__, your prized creation!_" Shen said chuckling darkly.

"NO!" the venerable old man bellowed with a pale face of absolute horror.

"Golden Scroll?" the Bear Woman asked, confused.

"_Only you among all of them, Thunderous Bear, are the only Virtuous warrior; if you look back, only the __**Beastman **__Sect came out unscathed from my merry slaughtering, not a single Beastman had died by my hands voluntarily __ever since I started__. Only you between the so-called '_Six Divine Champions'_ have never spread your legs, lied, cheated, conspired or bought-off __your way__ to __the all-important__ status __of__ Supreme Master. I am rotten inside, yes, and I enjoy following my instincts, yes...But there are way worse beasts out there, worse even than me! At least I admit to be the lowest of the low, __never hiding behind false smiles and chivalrous attitude.__"_

"So?" the woman asked back while stealthily stealing a glance to her companions, and noting how some of them looked outraged, and for some reason, she believed that outrage was about their secrets being publicly outed instead of their being accused of false sins.

"_**The Golden Scroll**__ contains a very interesting ritual, one that requires the sacrifice of ten thousand Cultivators for each stage of Qi condensation, followed by the sacrifice of a Pure soul AND a Sinful soul...Every death must be achieved in a very specific order and method, a single drop of blood then must be collected __from__ each victim and the __resulting mixture of blood then needs to be__ filtered and prepared into an Elixir, and finally, the two souls must be collected by adding the two victims' blood to the Elixir __before usage__...But __the Ritual__ lacked the very final step, the most important __one__! And guess who managed to finish the ritual three entire Sects and the greatest Master in Elixir compounding in our Continent History could not fathom? ME! _**I**_, Shen Lan-Yun, deciphered the secrets of the cosmos and All Things! SO, since I managed to complete it, it stands to reason that I will be the one to ascend to Godhood instead of this old incestuous PIG of our Emperor. Curiously, his deranged love for his niece and daughter makes him Sinful enough to be part of the ritual."_

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" the venerable old man spluttered, raving madly in rage.

"Is it...Is it true?" Mu asked in disbelief.

"By his expression, I fear that it is indeed true, he really helped in creating a deranged Ritual to turn a Mortal into a God." the Bearwoman answered, disgusted.

"_Jealous, Zao? Jealous that I will reach the goal you and your dear friend the Emperor longed for? You should be, since I found every '_ingredient'_ already there waiting for me, the Elixir was just waiting for the last two souls, that is what this little Festival was for, isn't it? __To find the Darkest and the Purest souls?__ I am so sorry then! I didn't __know__ that all those dead Cultivators I found in the __temple's__ basement __had been used to create the Elixir__! __Had I known, I wouldn't have__ left them out for you others to find, __but in all honesty,__ their stench was getting on my nerves."_

"T-T-Those corpses...Are not his doing?" the woman with the fans asked in disbelief.

"So it seems." the Bearwoman answered.

"_No-no! I killed the guards and monks, __that was all my doing;__ they were even too eager to protect the birthing place of their new God! Good job in turning them into such zealous worshipers, __by the way, __even I would have not been able to do better! All the others instead were just mere decoration, just to __welcome__ you others with the results of Zao's greed while I finish__ed__ this small ritual._"

"I FORBID YOU! I DESERVE IT! THAT IS MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT! MY CREATION!" the venerable old man screamed, only to stop when the Bearwoman hand grabbed his shoulder.

"WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME?!"

"Just help us stop Shen, we might need your strength, but if you try to finish that ritual yourself, I will kill you." she hissed in answer.

"_Hahahahaha! Too late! I am already performing the last step!"_

"WHAT?!" everybody present yelled in shock.

"_HAHAHAHA! I love dealing with '_Heroes'_ like you, you are so eager to hear your enemy talk about his evil plans that you forget to take action! I just talked with you while finishing the Ritual! AND YOU ALL JUST PLAYED ALONG! HAHAHAHA! Such a silly delaying tactic actually worked!_" Shen answered with his mad laugh echoing all the way down the mountain.

"STOP HIM!" Mu yelled with wide eyes, he and everybody present running forward as fast as they could.

"_TOO LATE! __GODHOOD__ IS MINE!_" Shen answered, and together with his scream a giant bolt of lightning rained from the sky, disintegrating the mountain in its entirety, cutting the entire continent literally in two and pulverizing the Champions and the army with them in a flash blinding light.

Nothing and nobody survived, the entire land had been stripped clean, leaving behind just a giant crater spawning for a third of the entire giant continent, soon to be filled by the sea water around it finally separating the giant landmass in two.

**Untold amount of time later - **

"..."

"..."

"_...Interrupted a step away from victory...Typical. I should have guessed that the Gods would have been against somebody joining them, nobody likes competition after all!" _Shen thought with a tired sigh as he watched the tiny, smooth hands of his new body.

The ritual had been an absolute success, had he knew how to put it in numbers, he would have seen the thing reach the 99.9% mark before the _**ENTIRE PANTHEON**_ of Gods ruling over the Mortal realm finally decided to join forces and utterly erase him and everything around him to stop his ascension.

A pity though, for them, that instead of obliterating his soul like they did with everybody else in the blast radius, Shen's spirit simply transmigrated elsewhere out of their reach, by the time they noticed his Ascension his soul was already too much detached from the Mortal Realm to be an easy target, so instead of dying, Shen simply reincarnated elsewhere, a world in which he instinctively _knew_ they could not see/find him.

"A journey of a million steps always starts with the first one, it seems like I will have to start mine from the beginning...Although with a clear view of my path already in front of me." the man in the body of a five year old kid muttered with a chilling smile, feeling his old Qi steadily awakening and waiting obediently for his orders.

When he first opened his new eyes, Shen saw a world of giants welcome him, until he learned that it was him to be tiny and defenseless...A baby, a one-year-old infant still held in the protective embrace of his mother while his body's father fussed over a girl barely few minutes old.

The normal brain of a kid would have not remembered it, but Shen had the mind and wisdom of a Cultivator that managed to reach the Legendary '_Auburn Dawn'_ Stage of Qi Cultivation, meaning that he had purified and elevated his body and soul's inner energy to its limits, ready to push through the last barrier between '_Mortal'_ and '_God'_...He was over two-hundred years old, and just like any other Cultivator '_Age'_ and '_Time'_ were a mere after-thought, thus, remembering small details even if reincarnated as a baby was nothing to him.

A botched ritual killed that man's son and permitted to Shen to take over the empty husk, and the Irony of this was immense to Shen: a butchered Ritual killed him in his previous life, and a similar incident permitted him to be reborn, Fate truly was a mischievous kid sometimes.

"He wanted to summon a spirit to bind a giant beast inside his two children, separating the Yin half and the Yang half so that both my body and its '_sister'_ could manage to control the '_Powerful'_ creature..._Tch_! A binding ritual made with a lesser spirit that can barely manipulate souls, no, even worse than that! He called upon a '_Manifestation'_ of such lowly being! They can't even summon the real deal! AH! '_Death God'_, had they summoned a real Death God, not a single soul in this entire Village would have been spared! Everything would have been erased just by virtue of one descending here and breathing! But...For a rushed job made on the fly, the fact alone that it worked on the girl and didn't backfire is proof that the buffoon does have _SOME_ talent!" Shen said while looking at the reflection of the mirror in the orphanage hall, sneering at the bright blond and unruly hair instead of his old silky ebony strands, even his eyes were different: sapphire blue of _saccharine_ _naivete_ instead of the proud and sharp brown eyes he was used to, but at least he no longer had that ugly beak-like nose of his old body! That was a small mercy.

That binding did work, but apparently it sealed the entire nine-tailed fox inside the baby girl at the cost of forcefully tearing away the ability to use '_Chakra'_ from the boy, shriveling and erasing his chakra coils as if he never had them to begin with and leaving the boy with just enough Chakra in its _core _to live, as apparently losing all of it would have killed him from the shock; this in turn was deemed a payment good enough to leave the two parents alive instead of killing both, after all, the boy DID die, it was only that Shen took his place barely a second later so nobody noticed.

What to do then with a boy forever cursed to never mold chakra? His father was the Village Leader and both him and his wife had a list of enemies so long it was simply ridiculous that they were de facto still alive...So the boy had to be pried from the hands of both wailing parents to be put up for adoption into a '_Civilian'_ orphanage until things calmed down thanks to the so called '_Third Hokage'_ so that the boy could pass as a mere civilian orphan while the current Hokage's son was declared dead, a pitiful plan to spare a defenseless boy the pain of being used as a leverage by revenge-thirsty enemies.

They thought that since the boy was one-year old he would not even remember them, and once waited a couple years just to be sure, make it possible to adopt him so to give him a chance at happiness.

It was amazing though that Shen did still remember all that but didn't care; he even found the lack of Chakra a blessing! He could tell that the energy those people were so dependent on was like a leech, bridging both physical and spiritual power but _DEMANDING_ to be the only one to be used and even leeching from both to sustain itself.

It was almost amusing '_squashing'_ the small core of chakra he had inside with the overwhelming power of his Qi, making that leech recede into a corner and lower its head in deference.

The only downside was that only his Qi and soul were still at their peak like in his old life, his new brain and body instead could not even hope to match up, a thing he discovered painfully when he tried summoning even just a fraction of his old Powers...He almost died on the spot and had to be brought to the hospital for severe bleeding and the almost rupturing of all his organs to shreds, he even had to _**carefully**_ guide his Qi to help the medicines the medics gave him to repair the damages in order to survive! And even then, it took him months to fully heal, and the shame of reducing himself in that state almost had him blow-up in rage.

Since then, once reached his fifth birthday, he started meditating and training lightly like a common novice just admitted into a temple. He knew that he was still too young for proper exercises, but he already knew what he wanted to achieve, so laying the foundations for his future development was nothing too straining, and doing that under the prying eyes of his body's '_parents'_ was even more amusing, it looked like they never forgot the baby they were forced to leave behind as they watched over him whenever they could just to see him '_imitate'_ the training Normal Ninjas went through.

'_Oh so very tragic_!' Shen would think in amusement whenever he caught them in their '_hiding spots'_.

"Naruto? There is somebody that wants to speak with you!" the owner of the orphanage said with a gentle smile and interrupting his musing.

Apparently they made sure that the dead son of the Hokage was registered as '_Naoto Namikaze'_ while '_Naruto'_ was the Civilian orphan instead, it was a quirk of being the Hokage: switching birth certificates and identities with a dead no-name brat came easy when the one doing it was the Supreme Leader of the place, at least like that they left the boy with his original name.

It was with a great surprise that Shen saw who was there to adopt him, though. The man had the same smile, the same kind eyes, the exact same chuckle and long mustache with the first signs of white hair of the only man Shen had actually cared about in his entire life…

Fate could really either pull pranks or give people the greatest gifts, the old man was even a wine maker like his beloved dead father was! The difference was only in the name: Yujiro Sasaki instead of Dugu Lan-Yun, but everything else, was the exact copy of the father he had in his old life.

"Sasaki-san would love to be your new daddy, what do you think?" the owner asked happily, having finally found somebody for one of her precious wards.

"Let's go home, my boy." Yujiro, that frail-looking giant of a man, said softly and offering his hand with a gentle smile.

"_Let's go home, Little Shen_." at the same time, the man's doppelganger repeated those exact words in Shen's memories of a more peaceful time long past, and with both men overlapping each other.

"Yes, father." the kid answered in a daze while grabbing that big, and warm, hand.

Not a mere second after he did and said that, the old man pulled on his hand to lift the boy in his arms and make him ride on his shoulders while laughing merrily, as if _he_ was the kid getting the present he had always wished for.

"I am sorry it took this long, Yujiro, but since you are...Well...Since your wife passed away...It took longer for the adoption papers to get through the system, Hokage-sama had to vouch for you himself about your being able to take care for him even if alone...Please do take care of him." the owner asked with a begging tone.

"Minato-sama?!"

"Exactly him."

"_Ooh! So this body's father vouched for this adoption? Interesting! I can only guess how deep they looked into his past to be sure he was good enough. __What a pity! Because__ this decision is only mine to make instead!_" Shen thought while barely holding back a smirk.

"Kimiko, when the Gods took both my wife and daughter away from me the night Kyuubi attacked years ago, I had left myself drift away in despair...But then...My eyes met the ones of this little fella...And I felt a pull deep down my chest! I knew that we both could have healed each other's wounds! He has lost his family the same way I lost mine, I knew it was Fate that made me pass by here instead of my usual road, so once cleaned-up and put my life back together, I knew what I had to do." the man answered.

"Yeah, you did it alright! Two years of papers, meetings with lawyers and god-only-knows how much bureaucratic hell, but we did it, you old fool! So know that IF something fishy happen, I will make you pay." the old woman answered with a chilling smile.

"Is it the Orphanage Owner talking, or the retired ANBU?" Yujiro asked in dread.

"Both, only you know what I used to do back in the days. You know what I can do to a human spine." she answered smiling evilly.

"So!? Ice-cream?" Yujiro asked to the boy on his shoulders with a high-pitched tone.

"I just want to go home, father." Shen answered.

"...Say that again...Please..." the man begged.

"Father?" the reborn Cultivator answered.

"I-I missed being called like that...Where do I have to sign? Does he have anything he wishes to take back...Back h-home?" the sake maker asked with a trembling voice.

"This way, you fool, let's give this little miracle the finishing touches so you both can go home and start being father and son for real."

"Yes." Yujiro answered with a happy smile and few tears already spilling out of his control.

But he was not the only one crying, the red-haired woman hiding in the shadows and spying inside was silently crying her eyes out, clutching her chest to the point of her nails digging in her flesh drawing blood and doing everything in her power to not rush inside and grab the boy herself and take him away with her where he belonged, and she knew that as soon as she informed her husband, the man too will suffer just as much, but they both also knew that they had no right to pull the boy away from a chance at happiness just to appease their selfishness; unless that man was not a good father, in that case no force in Hell would stop the blond boy's real mother from saving him.

**Years later – Konoha - Sasaki's Wine House – Naruto (_Shen's new Body)_: age 11 - **

Years passed in a flash for Shen.

He had welcomed the nostalgic smell of fermenting wine with a fond smile, reminiscing of the quiet days when he was learning from his father the inner workings of the art of Wine Making to one day take his old man's place and own the shop; he was expected to do the same in his new life as well, but only in the far future, as for now he was just supposed to go to school like any boy his age, and with a laugh in his heart about the thing, Shen did, even just to understand in what kind of world he woke-up into, and it also left him with enough free time to train and meditate while he was supposedly outside playing.

"Another score card of absolute perfection...Eh! He is almost wasted making wine..." Yujiro said impressed by the score card a teacher from the local _Civilian_ school brought him.

"Your son is a scholar, I would never have guessed." the old customer with him answered, smirking.

"He takes it from his dad, of course!" the wine maker said puffing-out his chest.

"Are you sure? I remember you sucking at math, if I am not mistaken." the other countered.

"LIBEL! LIES!" Yujiro answered blushing madly.

"Hahahaha! In all seriousness, your brat is good and well mannered, looking at him one might think he is an old man in a child body, way too well behaved!"

"He is an orphan, kids like him have to grow-up fast." the man answered sighing.

"Now he has you though, so let him be a kid, we all have only one moment of youth, do not let him waste it."

"Have no fear! Kids should act like kids! I still don't get this fixation for ninjas and training their kids to kill and steal ever since they get out of the crib! You know that the Hokage's daughter already knows how to throw a kunai and hit a human head from thirty meters away? She is even younger than my Naruto, for fuck sake!"

"Unfortunately we need shinobi to protect the Village, is a dirty, horrible price to pay to sleep well at night...And even then...Better those Ninja Clan brats than our kids, eh?" the old man answered, leaning closer to whisper in a conspiring tone.

"Oh, yes! Definitely!" Yujiro answered, laughing.

"Where is your boy by the way? Out chasing girls?"

"COME ON! HE IS ONLY ELEVEN! Not everybody was a little deviant like you were!" Yujiro answered, appalled.

"I was not a deviant!"

"Yes, you were!"

"LIES!"

**Meanwhile – in one of the training grounds - **

The air was clean, and the place finally quiet after the last Jounin and her Team had left, leaving the place empty for Shen to use for some calm meditation, and once found a good-enough tree with a shadow of his liking, he sat down and closed his eyes to connect to the inner universe that was his Qi.

"Ahh! There it is...Still magnificent." he muttered as he '_saw'_ the enormous spiral of bronze-red energy that was the _galaxy_ of his Qi.

Meanwhile, not too far away, a young man with '_peculiar'_ eyebrows was just entering the same training ground for some mindless training, too deep in thought to notice that behind one of the trees there was somebody else already, for the deep-in-thought Newly-promoted Jounin, just the fact the blond kid was not in plain sight meant he was not there.

Getting into the initial stance of the _**Goken**_ fighting style, Maito Gai started going through the warming exercises, but the body was moving in autopilot as his mind was somewhere else.

"No usable chakra. So no illusions or Ninjutsu, is it feasible?" the man muttered while his punches and kicks cut through the air with sharp swishing sounds.

"Can a shinobi rely only on his strength to exceed?"

A kick blurred forward and a near tree trembled slightly from the resulting air pressure making few leaves fall down, one of which landing gently on top of Shen's head.

"Would the boy's fists be enough?"

"...All this dependency on chakra is honestly baffling, I was of the idea it was supposed to be only an asset, not a crutch." a whisper answered once carried by the wind, too low to be clear who was talking.

"Uh? who's there?" Gai asked.

"I am trying to meditate, go somewhere else if you have to play philosopher." the same voice answered sharply, and this time, Gai could swear the tone almost sounded child-like, and yet, he could still not pin-point who was its owner.

"Meditate? Why?"

"Qi is Everything, and Everything is Qi. Chakra is just there to help! If '_that boy'_ can't use chakra then so be it! There was a time Might was determined by one's strength and achievements, not from how big a fireball they could spit! Teach him to cleave the Heavens in twain with a punch or upturn mountains with a kick, then you'll be worthy of telling me if Chakra really is that important!" this time the voice was clear, booming and rasping, and thundering in Gai's ears making him wince.

"There is no need to be so harsh, Stranger..." Gai muttered, still with ringing ears.

"..."

"...Hello?"

"..."

"You still there?" the man asked nearing the tree he knew the voice came from and finding nobody there, only a patch of grass way greener and healthier than the rest, as if something had enriched the soil with pure Life.

"He must have left." Gai said sighing, he didn't thought that this mysterious stranger could have been so annoyed to leave like that, unless he was already in a foul mood.

"Cleave the Heavens and upturn mountains...Without Chakra...YOSH! If it can be done, I'll do it! And my student will manage too!" Gai finally said once looked at his closed fist for several second and then yelling his determination to the sky.

Just outside the training ground, a very angry five year old blond boy could be seen walk back towards the Village with an annoyed expression.

"Training Ground 8 is out too" _Grr! "_…Nobody here seems to understand that training is not just making a mess! They just focus on mindless noise and flashy techniques!" _Cough!_ "Back in the days their _shifu _(_Teacher_) would have whipped their backsides until they bled for such a thing!..._Ack!" _

_Cough! _"Using Qi to force my voice to sound deeper and older was a bad idea! Now I'll have to waste time healing myself again! I curse this childish body! I curse it!" Shen growled with a low voice, having almost turned himself mute because tired of Gai's '_whining'_.

If only Gai knew that those few words '_of wisdom'_ that helped him decide to follow his gut feeling and indeed take young Rock Lee as his disciple came from a short kid, reincarnation of an old Legendary warrior or not, it would put a little damper on the man's relief, but luckily for all parties involved, he would never know.

**First chapter over, just an introduction and background info on Shen.**

****Why I am making such a story with a Chinese Wuxia Main Character put inside a Manga storyline? Simple.****

****I was tired of this "******YAY! I LOVE MY NAKAMAS/POWER OF FRIENDSHIP/I FORGIVE EVERYBODY!" ****or even just the "****BAKA (insert Idiot/Pervert Main Character Name here)******" Bullshit...Having a Main Character recognize the tell-tale warning flag of a '****_Cliche __Anime Adventure-Love-Comedy Plot starter__ N.53436738' _****and act to mercilessly kill that flag and stop everything from even starting ********is******** so FUCKING REFRESHING!****

****Now I only need to see a Main Character intercept the usual "****_Female Character beats the Male Main Character for something stupid/ecchi/embarrassing/Jealousy-inducing only she saw/imagined_****" and not only stop her slap, kick to the dick, punch or whatever, but also answer in kind and have that girl character shut the fuck up and stop acting like a spoiled shit, and another check mark of my bucket list will be filled.****


	4. Persona 5 x MLP Crossover

**You fans of Ponies do have some strange tastes!**

**So, apparently there is a branch of stories where Celestia (_t_**_hat to my limited knowledge is so good and gentle __and pure that__ she __probably __shits rainbows and pees sugar_**) invades Earth and mercilessly forces humans to convert into ponies so to not face extinction…**

**Then the various versions of the basic plot splits into:**

**The: _Ponies rule and Humans suck and should die horribly. _Group**

**Or**

**The: _Humans rule and Ponies suck and should die horribly._ Group**

**Or even the angst group of:**

**_Everything is a terrible mistake and neither of the two groups can do anything to stop humans from disappearing_ (**_Sob! Sob! _Angst, angst, angst! Tears, sadness and all that**).**

**Having said this, do you mind if poor little me gives this a try with an added bonus of making it a crossover with Persona 5?**

**I gave a look at a MLP/Prototype Crossover titled "The one at the top of the Food Chain" written by Sweetmiss2121, so I do have a faint clue about what this is about!**

…

**I'll take your silence as a permission to try, thank you for the kind concession.**

**For the Main Character of Persona 5, I went with the name '_Akira Kurusu'_, pretty much his "Canon Name".**

**The return of the world's greatest Thieves! Chapter 1: Velvet Room.**

**April 24th – Evening - **

_BRAAAAAAAGH! _An old family car howled with the deafening metallic roar of its over-stressed engine as it sped through the streets without caring of red lights and barely dodging the other cars in front of it, going too fast for the occupants to even just faintly hear the scared screams and curses of the ones they passed by in their mad escape.

The one driving this mad bullet was a young man with short wavy black hair and glasses and still dressed in his school uniform, on the back seats instead sat two adults, his parents clearly, both of which desperately trying to not get too shaken by the wild driving style of their son.

"H-Honey!" the middle-aged woman sitting on the back cried-out in fear as she held her wounded husband close to herself.

"Ah! I-It hurts." the man answered hissing as he tied the makeshift bandage around the stump that used to be his left hand just a bit tighter to stop its copious bleeding.

"You cut-off your hand, it is supposed to hurt." the young man at the wheel answered while giving a sharp turn and '_bouncing' _against a parked van to help him take a sharp 90 degrees turns into a side street without losing too much speed.

"Did you learn to drive like this from a game, Akira?!" the woman asked her son while looking almost ready to puke.

"I learned from that and by driving Morgana's car form through Mementos." the young man answered nonplussed while looking at the rear mirror in well-conceived worry.

"Well, son! There are no Shadows here, but people! So try to not run over somebody! At least let's not had hit-and-run to our long list of problems!" the youngster's father answered turning blueish on his face after a particularly-daring turn of the car that flattened him against his wife.

"Meow!" the cat sitting in the passenger seat next to the boy answered mewing.

"What?"

"Morgana said that it's either this or asking to those pastel ponies chasing us to _PLEASE_ stop trying to turn us into them through Magic Potion Showers."

"...JUST FLOOR IT, DAMN IT!" both parents bellowed in unison after merely two seconds of thought.

"I am trying to, but this thing can go only so fast."

"I told you it was time we bought a new car!" the woman said sighing.

"SORRY, PRINCESS! I WAS NOT EXPECTING MAGICAL PONIES TO POP-UP FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION TO TRY CONQUER US! Had I know I would have sold our house and bought a damn Ferrari, okay?!" the woman's husband bellowed in sarcastic rage.

"Just leave it to me." Akira, ever the stoic one, answered while using the rapid-call shortcut on his cell to call one of his friends.

"...Riuji? You there?"

"_Joker! Goddamnit, you are alive!_" another young man answered from the other side and using his friend's '_nickname' _ out of habit.

"Barely, my father had to cut off his hand to not be Converted, now they are chasing us while I am trying to leave town. How are things on your side?" he answered while putting the call on speaker.

"_He cut off his hand?!_" A female voice yelled in fright.

"Hi, Ann! Don't worry, dear, I am okay!" Akira's father answered with a small smile.

"_Hello, Kurusu-san!"_

"He is okay, Ann. How are you?" the boy asked.

"_I am fine, thank you. We managed to get the old gang to safety, plus a few guests._" Ann said sounding elated.

"Guests?"

"_You okay, kiddo?"_

"_Of course he is okay, what are ponies to Shadows or stealing hearts?"_

"Sojiro! Iwai-san!" _Joker_ exclaimed in surprise.

"_We are all okay for now, we are hiding in an old storehouse not too far away from Inokashira Park. The school...the students in there...they..._" another woman was heard say with a broken tone of voice.

"Sae-sensei..."

"_I am no longer your teacher, you dummy._" she answered with a small sigh.

"What if I still consider you so?"

"_I would be really touched. We were having lesson like normal when we heard that Celestia crazed mare __use her powers to __declare that we no longer had enough time to find another solution to the whole '__**Deadly Barrier**__' issue and that they would have Converted us en masse by force, whatever __we__ wanted it or not. Barely a minute later an entire squadron of flying horses barged inside to spray every student with their serum. I too would have been caught had Riuji not tackled me to the ground_."

"_I acted without thinking..._"

"You always do that, Ryuji." the cat next to _Joker_ said, and only the old members of the '_Phantom Thieves'_ group understood what he said.

"MORGANA?!" the group yelled as one.

"You know, I find it quite annoying that apparently everybody but us can understand that cat..." Akira's mother muttered huffing.

"Me too, honey. Me too."

"_Shit! He is back?!_" Ryuji asked in disbelief.

"Apparently Mementos are also returning, listening to what Morgana says, and you know what this means..."

"_Palaces_?! _Again_?!" Ryuji said gasping in shock.

"_And probably Yaldabaoth._" another boy, named Yusuke, added growling.

"For now let's just regroup, then we will try to plan something. If Yaldabaoth and the Mementos are back, then maybe our Persona too are...Or so I hope." Morgana declared.

"Where are you?" Akira asked.

"_I'll guide you, just ditch the car and follow my instructions, if we are lucky those Kids-Show-Rejects have not screwed-up things enough for few of my old tricks to not work anymore._" Iwai offered gruffly.

"How do you know I am in a car, Iwai-san?"

"_I can hear the engine screaming for mercy from here. Now hurry up! Is your father able to walk?_"

"I can, Iwai-san. I feel a bit faint, but I can still walk." the old man answered breathing heavily.

"_I hope so. Tae-san just returned with her medical supplies, both me and her will patch you up good, but you have to follow my instructions perfectly, or we'll see you others too turn pastel-coloured and start spewing garbage about the joy of having hooves._" Iwai answered, pleased.

"I am all hears." _Joker_ answered nodding in determination.

"_Good boy. Here's what you need to do..._"

**Several Hours later – Storehouse – night time - **

"This way, dad." the young man said holding-up his father that was fully hanging from his shoulder.

"Honey, please hold-up!" the man's wife pleaded as she was about to pound on the rusty doors when a callous hand pulled her inside while covering her mouth so she could not scream.

"Do not make so much noise and hurry inside!" the old man wearing a military cap hissed.

"Iwai-san!"

"Get in! Get in!" a blond young man, Ryuji, added as he helped his friend and his father inside.

"It looks nasty, what have you used?" a young woman wearing punk clothes and a choker under a dirty lab coat said immediately as she joined them.

"A meat cleaver, are you a doctor?"

"The best one." _Joker_ answered.

"Still the same charmer. Come, there is a hidden room underground that was used to smuggle illegal goods, we are hiding there, and there you'll find my '_clinic'_. Now enough chatting, he has lost way too much blood for us to waste time." Tae answered dragging the group inside and slamming the door closed.

"The coast is clear, nobody Followed us." Morgana said tailing them.

"Good to have you back, you damn cat." Ryuji admitted with a happy smile.

"I am happy to see you others as well."

A short walk later, and once Iwai and Sojiro moved away a couple of rotten crates to show a hidden ramp of stairs, the new guests of the storehouse went brought to the hidden storage room housing The Phantom Thieves and most of their '_Friends/Confidants'_.

"Ann!"

"Akira!" the girl yelled jumping in his arms to hug the life out of him and cry on his shoulder.

"You were the only one left to call, we heard that your town was completely covered by the barrier and the entire population Converted...and...and...and..." the youngest girl in the group started saying before tears and sobs overcame her self-control.

"What Futaba was trying to say is that we feared you went Converted." the girl's guardian, Sojiro, finished for her.

"You have bandages around your chest..." Akira muttered unsure.

"Ever the observant one, eh? Yeah, one of those bastards tried Converting Futaba and I answered by smashing a bottle on his head, I think he took the lost of an eye badly, because he kicked me through the door. Luckily in the mess I managed to snatch Futaba and run away, with a couple ribs broken, but still human." the old man answered proudly.

"Then I found them and brought them here." Makoto answered sighing, she had bandages around her head and a patch on he cheek.

"And you?"

"Oh, this? They tried getting me, they were holding me down to force-feed me their '_Potion'_...But my sister protected me by shooting a couple of them dead, she just went out there to look for food and water, we take turns for supplies. Luckily Iwai-san knows a couple guys that can fetch stuff for us and leave all that in secret safe houses for us to retrieve." she answered.

"Of the old group we have: Me, Yusuke, Ryuji, Ann, Futaba, Makoto and her sister, Sojiro-san, Iwai-san, Sae-san, Tae-san, Mishima-san and now you...We have no idea where the others are and if they are safe." another girl, called Haru, explained.

"And Goro?" Akira asked.

"Last we heard he tried fighting off those ponies with a group of rebels, when it was clear he was the last one remaining and that he was about to be Converted...He...He took his own way out...W-With a gun." Haru answered shuddering heavily and making a cold silence fall in the room.

"I-I don't understand! First they arrive talking about Friendship and happiness a-a-and then out of the blue they drop everything for this '_Convert or Die'_ Bullshit! It makes no sense!" Ryuji cried-out almost pulling out two handful of hair from his head.

"They say that the Barrier's advancement cannot be stopped, so we can no longer waste time in trying to find another solution. it's either Converting or dying. As we speak they are opening '_Conversion Bureaus'_ to speed-up Conversion." Sae the teacher answered.

"And that Potion…"

"It still causes humans to turn into ponies acting like demented characters from a Kid Show, only saying good things and only smiling like morons. I could try to look more into it, but I don't want to touch that stuff, even to study it while wearing full hazmat gear." the punk doctor of the group answered grimacing while treating Akira' father.

"Ugh!"

"Bite down the scream, we are sewing the wound shut, so be a man." Iwai said while helping the woman heal the bloody stump.

"Why you were not Converted?" Yusuke asked.

"My school was supposed to stay closed and go on a rally against Conversion under the temporary Embassy Equestria opened in our town, but my father was preparing the barbecue we wanted to have tomorrow with few visiting family members, so before I could leave he talked me into staying home. Ironically saving me from the police charge and then the pony raids." Akira answered.

"And that explains why you were fast enough to cut your hand off as soon as their Potion fell on it." Tae muttered sighing.

"I was holding the knife and acted without thinking..." the man admitted shyly.

"It was Morgana to alert us of their arrival, while coming here I told my parents about our time as Phantom Thieves and what happened while I lived here."

"Compared to flying Ponies using Magic, it was not so hard to believe." the young man's mother admitted while still holding her husband only hand in a tight grasp.

"But what now? How can we fight back? They have Magic! Even Laws of Physics mean nothing to them!" Makoto asked, scared.

"It's okay, no matter what, I will protect you. 'Kay?" Ryuji said immediately.

"Thank you."

"Are you...Are you being chivalrous?" Morgana asked in disbelief.

"Eh! Lotsa things changed while you were away, Mona!" the blond boy answered smirking.

"...Eh?!" the cat bellowed in disbelief as not only Ryuji and Makoto looked close, but Ann and Akira and everybody else too showed signs of romantic involvement.

"I am sorry, Morgana. But it looks like me and you are the only singles left in the Phantom Thieves Organization." young Futaba admitted, patting the cat's head gently.

"Of course! For as long as I draw breath at least!" Sojiro declared, huffing.

"LADY ANN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_MEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOW!_

"Wow, that cat sounds like it has a broken heart." Iwai muttered impressed.

"The fact remains that we have no idea how to stop them, I heard the army was about to be involved, but I am actually afraid they will just start carpet-bombing everything coming out of that barrier, because sure as hell no weapon seem to be able to pierce it." Sae explained with a weak sigh.

"Then maybe We can offer some assistance." a new voice answered.

"What the fuck?!" Sojiro yelled in surprise at the improvise appearance of the intruder.

"Lavenza!" Akira said shocked.

"My Trickster! My Love!" the blue-dressed short girl said while happily hugging him.

"Love?" the young man asked, confused.

"_**MY LOVE!?**_" Ann roared furious.

"I feared the worst happened when the Mementos reappeared and those creatures swarmed your town, but luckily you are safe. Come, Master Igor wants to speak with you all." Lavenza answered grabbing his hand tightly and gently pulling him towards the new blue door that appeared on a near wall.

"He is already taken." Ann hissed with narrowed eyes.

"...Hn." Lavenza simply looked her up and down and then gave a small grunt of answer before pulling _Joker_ through the door.

"I am going to kick that bimbo's ass."

"Ann, I remember you that her two halves were already very powerful, and she is the real deal instead." Futaba answered worried.

"It doesn't matter. Now move!" the young woman answered marching inside the door.

"Coming, coming." Ryuji answered, shaking his head as he and Makoto followed inside.

"Shall we go?" Yusuke asked presenting his arm to Haru.

"Of course." she answered, latching to her _beau_ with a gentle smile.

"Should we..." Sojiro asked, unsure.

"Sorry, guys! Phantom-Thieves-only rendezvous. We'll be back soon!" Futaba answered as she too hurried inside with the others.

**Velvet Room – Igor's Office - **

"Welcome back to the Velvet Room, Phantom Thieves." an old man with an unnaturally long nose greeted the group as soon every last one of them entered his office.

"Igor-san." Akira answered with a short bow, just like the others behind him.

"It is curious to have the former recipient of a contract return to the Velvet Room for a second time, and yet, things out of ordinary have happened, forcing us to go through this unique situation." Igor, crooked smile ever present and never faltering, explained simply with his gravely voice.

"Soo, what is happening?" Ryuji asked, confused.

"With your last job Mementos were supposed to have disappeared, cut-off from the conscious world and forever erased so to stop other beings from using them to manipulate mortals...But _Something_ has started drawing power from the Collective Subconscious of the Mortal Realm, thus turning the already thin line separating this world from the Metaverse even thinner. And Causing Mementos to return."

"So Yaldabaoth too..." Akira asked.

"No. What is dead, remained dead. My Master, Lord Philemon, alerted me that neither him or Nyarlatothep or any other God or Devil is behind this. This whole situation comes from the presence of otherworldly interlopers." Igor answered unfazed.

"So the Ponies did this?" Morgana, now looking like a super-deformed anime cat character (_Big head, tiny body_) asked in realization.

"Indeed. Their Magic unbalanced the natural order of things, but, their own inner Darkness, their Desires, is what in the end caused Mementos and Shadows to return. For now it seems that both are only relegated to, let's call it '_Ponykind_'…But it's only a matter of time before it bleeds into the human side once again, and should that happen Ruin will threaten the world just like it did in the past."

"Oh, my god..." Yusuke muttered with wide eyes.

"That is why you all have been called, I was told there is already a talk about resetting this world so to erase the ponies influence. The Phantom Thieves are the last hope before this happens, and Lord Philemon himself vouched for you, under my own request." Igor said with a dry chuckle.

"That is why Morgana is back, our Persona too returned." Akira said nodding.

"Exactly. The plan is indeed simple, you all are tasked with Stealing the Heart of the being behind this whole situation: Celestia. That and discover what is causing the ponies' Wicked Desires to awaken and pollute the world enough for Mementos and Shadows to return."

"Then let's go immediately!" Ryuji yelled in determination.

"Unfortunately it is not that simple." Lavenza, still holding Akira's hand by the way, answered sighing.

"Why?" Ann asked while glaring at her.

"As for now, your powers are not as strong as they were when you saved the world the first time. You will need time to recover your lost strength before confronting her, that and whatever is the reason behind Celestia's change it is not relegated only to her, meaning this will need a cautious approach." Igor explained.

"The Darkness corrupting her is an amalgamation of the remnants of the Old Mementos you destroyed and something else coming from their world, an entity we cannot determine. Whatever that is, it's also '_feeding'_ on the darkest feelings it can find in the Collective Subconscious of the Ponies. In order to fight Celestia on equal ground and steal her heart, you need to weaken that Darkness first." Lavenza added.

"Once weakened enough, you will be able to fight against her and that Darkness and steal her heart, but to do so you will first need _Inside Help_." Igor said.

"Inside help? A Mole?" Yusuke asked.

"There are six mares that may posses what we need to weaken '_their'_ side of the Darkness protecting the Heart of our main Target. But in order to gain their help, we need them to have a Change of Heart and join your side." Igor said, and at his words a unanimous chorus of _Pings_ rang from the Phantom Thieves phones.

"The App is back!" Haru said in surprise.

"And we already have a list of names this time, there won't be us shooting in the dark." Makoto added as she scrolled down the list of names.

"Fluttershy...Applejack...Rainbow Dash..." Akira red aloud.

"Ranked from the '_easiest'_ to the '_Hardest'_. Based on the strength of their conviction. Their being Targets is not just for their Powers, but it also has another meaning." Igor explained simply.

"The more influential figures you convince to have a Change of Heart, the more waves you will make, so that once Celestia and her sister too finally fall, there won't be any other trying to continue their work. It will then be a matter of those ponies either moving here peacefully or going away. That choice will be up to the masses, though." the old man added.

"This time the Palaces you are going to storm are not formed just by the targets' Wicked Desires, but also built on their Distorted Ideals." Lavenza said.

"Distorted Ideals?" Ryuji asked, confused.

"They believe to be doing the right thing, they are blinded by their ideals of Justice and so either willingly or not they are ignoring that what they are doing is morally wrong." Morgana tried saying.

"Correct. Celestia and Luna, those two sisters fed enough lies to their people to make them believe that humans need to be protected from themselves through the power of their Conversion, unknowingly trying to remove Humanity's Free-will. If this happens all of them will just turn into obedient puppets blindly relying on Celestia for their every decision. Sounds familiar?" Igor asked with a chilling grin.

"Even too much." Akira admitted with a scrunched nose.

"So we'll have to breach their '_Proto_-_Palaces'_ and force them to face the truth they are willfully ignoring?" Yusuke asked.

"Proto-what?"

"It more or less means '_Almost Palaces',_ Ryuji." Makoto explained helpful.

"Oh! Thanks!"

"Yes, this self-imposed ignorance is also leaving them open for that same Darkness clutching Celestia to influence them. Even now as we speak, the seedlings left behind by that Entity are strengthening your targets' darkest desires, if left unchecked those will bloom into fully-formed _Distortions_, and then they won't be any different from what Celestia herself has become after her arrival here." Igor answered.

"So we have six '_Elements of Harmony'_ and four '_Generals'_ to take care of before being ready to tackle the three main targets: Cadence, Luna and then Celestia." Futaba declared once red the full list of targets.

"They are the ones more influential, yes, but if along the way you happen to explore few Mementos and fix those too, then your Mission will be even easier; the more ripples forms the more the defenses around Celestia's Heart will weaken."

"The Darkness around her Heart is feeding on the dark emotions between humans and ponies, if that flow of power diminishes enough, you all will be able to open a crack in it and infiltrate her Palace." Lavenza said hopeful.

"And if we steal her Heart, then that evil shit won't have not something to latch on and disappear, right?" Ryuji asked.

"Correct. By that time you will also gain the help of powerful beings that will further weaken her defenses, and finally prompt the Change of Heart that will stop this invasion." Igor answered.

"Then it's settled! When do we start?" Ann asked.

"First you will need to mount a secret base and coordinate from there with your companions outside the Barrier."

"How?! Nothing can pass through it, and if we enter it, the Magic of their place is apparently lethal to humans." Yusuke answered.

"This is nothing but another lie, the Barrier itself is lethal, but once passed through, nothing will happen to you." Lavenza answered shaking her head.

"Its advancement and mere existence are artificial as well, something ruled by Celestia's own power, and soon she will be forced to also stop enlarging, otherwise she won't be able to hold it up as it will become too big even for her power to maintain." Igor added.

"Too big?" Haru asked.

"Their land, Equestia, resides on a _flat_ planet. She never considered that this world would have been several times bigger than her own, so she will need to speed-up Conversion before her ruse will be discovered."

"A planet can't be flat! It is against every rule of Nature and-" Yusuke tried saying.

"Magic." Ryuji chided in, sighing.

"...Yes...They indeed are magical ponies...Please continue and forget I said anything." the artist admitted in defeat.

"So we can survive Magical Radiation, but how do we pass through the Barrier?" Futaba asked.

"The Metaverse exists on a plane detached from this, and one of its entrances is in the area you call _Shibuya_, that has already been engulfed by the Barrier." Igor answered simply.

"We can get there through the Mementos!" Morgana cried-out in shock.

"Yes, your App will guide you towards another entrance, and from there, to the one in Shibuya. Use it to freely move in and out of the border of Celestia's domain. The rest though will be up to you." Igor said nodding.

"Okay, Team! We just need the help of our friends to organize this, but we can do it! The Phantom Thieves will save the world once again!" Morgana declared.

"Yes!" the group of teens answered as one.

"Akira..." Lavenza asked.

"Yes?" he answered, kneeling so to be at eye-level with her.

"Please be careful, and come back to me." the Assistant asked before kissing his cheek.

"WE ARE GOING!" Ann roared, grabbing Akira's arm to drag him out of the Velvet Room.

"Please forgive us," Yusuke offered with a bow.

"Remember to return here if you need help with your Persona." Igor answered unfazed.

_Clack!_

"I see that you are still not over it."

"I am sorry, Master." Lavenza answered looking guilty.

_**Bang! Bang! Bang!**_

In answer loud thundering noises echoed into the room.

"It seems like certain individuals do not understand when their presence is not appreciated." Igor said rising from his seat and fixing his dress coat.

"Are you joining, Master Igor?" Lavenza asked as a velvet-blue flaming aura enveloped her body to then shift into one of the many Persona she could control.

"Nobody can enter the Velvet Room uninvited, it is time even for me to reinforce this rule." Igor answered with a pitch-black aura erupting around him, and the Persona that came out of it was simply _**MASSIVE**_.

"Also, I was informed by Lord Philemon that should you continue in this endeavor with our _Trickster_, that then I should not oppose you."

"So it means..."

"You are free to continue pursuing him, but should you push to the very end, the first born shall become an Assistant, that is not negotiable." Igor said as a new door appeared to show who was trying to force their way into the Velvet Room.

"Thank you, Master Igor!" Lavenza said as those words ignited a new wave of determination inside her.

"This shall be interesting to witness." Igor said to himself as he watched his Assistant tear through the intruders with merciless efficiency.

**At the same time – hidden storage room -**

"You are back!" Sojiro exclaimed elated.

"You were gone for barely a second." Akira's father added.

"Magic." Yusuke answered.

"SO! We have a plan, but it is also pretty much a suicide mission! Do you wanna help us?" Ryuji asked grinning.

"..."

"Ryuji..." Morgana said sighing as the dumbfound, astounded silence inside the room kept prolonging.

"_SUICIDE WHAT_?!"

"What?"

"Wrong choice of words." Akira explained.

**A week later – Iwai's shop "Untouchable" - **

The run-down shop for weapons enthusiasts was deadly silent, having been already raided of everything by daring escapees that tried using even those faithful replicas as weapons to fight against the ponies while the Barrier slowly advanced to cover everything.

In the back of the new deserted shop, in its storage/backroom, an empty cabinet toppled down by itself as the trapdoor hidden under it went forcefully pushed open from inside.

_Crash!_

…

…

"_..._Coast seem clear_." _Yusuke was heard say from inside the trapdoor as he used a small mirror to check inside the room.

"Do you see anything?" Akira asked.

"Just a lot of chaos, they must have raided the place clean."

"Good, I guess we can enter then." Morgana declared as he climbed out first.

Soon every member of the Phantom Thieves climbed out of the secret passage, with the boys mounting guard at the door while the girls tried organizing everything they bought with them.

"We are in." Ann said to the radio in her hand.

"_Good, as expected they never found my emergency escape route._" Iwai answered from the other side.

"We had to pass through the sewers." Futaba muttered gagging in disgust.

"I am surprised you had such a thing in this place." Akira admitted.

"_When you have a troubled past like mine, you do everything in your power to have contingency plans, kiddo._" the old man answered.

"You mean your past as a thug?"

"_Among other things._"

"I am more concerned about the _real_ weapons you gave us." Makoto asked unsure.

"_You said that the more real they are, the more powerful they get in that world of perceptions or whatever. At least with real weapons you can defend yourself in real life too._" Iwai answered.

"And you found these…Where?"

"_Girl, trust me. Don't ask._"

"Well...We already know how to shoot a gun, technically."

"Focus, Team! We are in enemy territory, from now on, he Phantom Thieves are back!" Morgan, now back into looking like a normal cat, declared from the top of a small table nearby.

**At the same time – Canterlot – Royal Palace - **

In the throne room of the royal palace, sitting on the throne with the bright sun insignia, Celestia was sitting with a calm smile while one of her Captain-rank soldier as he gave a rapid rundown of the current state of their moving to Earth.

"In short, excluded few pockets of violent resistance, humans seem to be open to the idea of Conversion, but even while some look interested in the steep increase in quality of life post-transformation we promise...It seems like more than 80% of the humans we ask are unanimously answering: '_Better living with hooves than dying disintegrated'_. But we are optimistic about the final results."

"Nopony ever liked sudden big changes, and of course an extremely different life-style AND race are indeed a huge switch in prospective happening instantaneously; we cannot expect all of them to accept it readily, and even fight against it. Patience is the key, once Converted them all, we will help them adjust to the Equestrian way of life, after all, wouldn't you feel scared should somepony tell you that you had to immediately become a gryphon or a manticore to survive, Captain Shining?" Celestia answered with a serene smile.

"Well...Being forced to grow claws and switch diet, face, race and living habitat in a matter of seconds...Yes, I can understand that many would be so scared of this to not think rationally, Princess. Harmony only knows if _**I**_ would keep calm even with my military training! I can't fault civilians to be afraid of '_Aliens'_ coming to turn them into a different shape, after all..." Captain Shining Armour answered slowly and unsure.

"See? We are not so different from them, after all. Problem is, their race has roots in the '_world'_ of Predators while we come from a more social race, they have been taught since the dawn of their race that only the strong survive while the weak perish, so they see our Conversion as the closest thing to a deadly attack, and their Instincts force them to lash-out with intent to kill. That is why until Conversion fully takes hold, you all must use extreme cautions when dealing with them."

"Of course, Princess. I will remind the others to be patient and careful when dealing with Conversion Raids." Shining answered, bowing.

"They are not doing it on purpose, the poor dears are just afraid. Help them in this transition and I am sure they will apologize from the bottom of their hearts once explained why we did this." the mare said with a maternal smile.

"We will be gentle then. By your leave, Princess." Shining answered nodding, and leaving the mare alone after a brief formal bow.

"You are free to go."

…

…

…

"They are not so bad as a race, scared children afraid of change unless this happens extremely slowly, but unfortunately I cannot let them take the decades or centuries they may need to accept this. I need Conversion to happen as soon as possible, I cannot stand this horrid smell of chaos permeating the air any longer...Order...This place, the humans and my beloved ponies need more Order in their lives." Celestia muttered to herself while watching outside the window.

"And yet, I have this feeling crawling up my back telling me I should be worried about the days to come...As if something even worse than you is about to pop out of the shadows." Celestia added while stealing a rapid glance to the strange statue of a mismatched creature hidden behind her throne and showing an expression of absolute sorrow and betrayal on its mismatched face.

"I am sorry, Discord, but there is already too much Chaos here without you adding to it, now is time for Order to be implemented. Please forgive me." the Sun Alicorn whispered sighing, and for an instant her eyes went clouded by something.

Something ominous.

Something Dark.

**End of the first chapter.**

**Uuuhm! This is a hard one, what do you think?**

**Feasible?**

**Doable?**

**Impossible?**

**...I dunno!**


	5. Naruto x Ni No Kuni Crossover

**I hate my haters, is a two-way road: they don't like what I write and how I write it; and I would love to hang them with their intestines and watch them bleed to death.**

_**Unfortunately neither of us can have what we want, either them watching me going away or me watching them dying horribly and have vultures eat their entrails.**_

**Sorry if I take so long: **_**Real Life **_**doesn't care about ****letting**** me ****have ****free time to write.**

**I MIGHT or MIGHT NOT have posted a story of mine somewhere else.**

" **You bastard"** \- demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback/ Thoughts

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything else I will use nor I make a profit out of this, I am writing just for the pleasure of doing it.**_

**Chapter 1: The last Heir of the Tildrum Royal Family.**

**Konoha – secret Chamber beneath the Hokage Monument - **

"Ahh...Ahh...Ah.." Tsunade, holding a hand on her side in a desperate attempt to stop the horrible flood of blood escaping the wound, propped herself against the wall and forced her feet to take yet another step forward.

"N-Naruto...I-I need...To wake up...Naruto..." the woman gasped between clenched teeth.

Kaguya knew this would have happened, Sasuke confirmed it himself, and yet nobody wanted to break the Seal-induced coma on the blond Jinchuuriki, and now the Uchiha Heir had been slayed...Just like Sakura, Kakashi...And Jiraiya.

Everybody was dead, and Konoha laid in ruins just like every other Village, with the last remaining ninja valiantly trying to stop the war happening up on the surface.

Sasuke had been looking through the pocket dimensions Kaguya had created for herself and discovered that the woman that actually came the closest to eradicate their entire world was actually _**Escaping**_ to their planet in hope to harvest the fruit of a Shinju tree and get strong enough to fight the _**monsters**_ that were now laying waste in their lands for the same reason: gather enough people so to grow another Fruit…

Problem was, the first two did not come alone, father and son thought they were being sneaky in finding another suitable world for that cursed tree, as apparently in their home planet there was an eternal war for control with the winner being chosen between who consumes the most fruits to get the most boosts in Power, and now their entire planet had become the battlefield of three dozen people with the '_weakest'_ fighter already powerful enough to erase Kaguya with just a glare.

"N-N-Naruto...Hold on...I-I am coming!" Tsunade gasped in agony as her sight grew hazy and her steps uneven.

There had been a talk about waking-up the blond young man in hope that between him and Sasuke the two could push back the two invaders...But that was before the other Monsters came, by then Tsunade knew that even those two powerhouses would have been overcome.

"S-Sealed away in fear! Ha-hahaha...They didn't know you...E-Even with a Juubi Kurama inside...You don't have a hateful bone in you. Y-You just wanted them to acknowledge you." Tsunade muttered with a mirthless chuckle broken by a mouthful of blood chocking her for a moment.

They asked him to stop Kaguya, and in doing so, he and Sasuke Sealed her away like the Sage did long before, but the woman had already absorbed the other Biju inside her, and since all that chakra had to go somewhere, the choice was only one: Kurama, the former Nine-tailed fox and only Biju remained.

It was the only way to make sure Kaguya could no longer break free: completely separate the woman from her chakra, with the result of elevating Kurama to the status of '_Juubi'_; and remembering how dangerous she used to be (And how powerful Madara had become in the short instant he borrowed her power), people were afraid.

They proposed the idea of putting Naruto in an ever-lasting Coma, with seals holding him in permanent stasis so that NOBODY would have been able to steal that power, and of course, Tsunade, Gaara and many others vehemently refused, going as far as proposing to just exile him somewhere far away where he could have at least lived free instead of prisoner of his own body.

It was not a surprise that the Exile plan went refused with a 90% vote, something that left the blond's friends staggering back in horror once considered how many people he had always helped before that moment, but there was no choice, and what was worse, Naruto didn't hold a grudge to them, and that hurt Tsunade horribly: she thought she deserved to be hated for that! Instead he just hugged her and asked her to be the one to do the deal, as he trusted her to do a good job.

She hadn't cried that much since the death of her lover Dan and her brother Nawaki.

Let it be said that she didn't take that defeat well, a mere week later she managed to find the '_secret location' _the young man was sleeping in and brought him to Konoha, because that was his home and that was where he would stay, and now, here she was, hoping to wake-him up and tell him to escape, to run away somewhere and leave everything behind.

"W-We wasted too much time...He deserves to escape, he can't die just because we have been stupid! E-E-Eternal sleep..EH!...A-As if I would have really gone along with that!" Tsunade said with a weak smirk, Jiraiya was not the only Seal Master around, she knew how to rig few Seals to make them removable instead of everlasting!

"Had things been different, I would have undone the seals and then let you take a secret identity once things calmed down, but then this whole mess had to start!"

When Tsunade finally arrived inside the sealed room, she could only watch as the plain rock sarcophagus lighted-up in green energy before fading away a mere second after she entered, leaving behind the shocked woman that then simply fell on her knees and spent her last moments contemplating the empty room in disbelief.

**At the same time – Earth – **

It was a warm night, and a long entourage of luxurious cars were silently traversing the empty streets while still proudly displaying the small flags of their nation on their front, it was so late in fact, that not a soul was around beside them.

"_I wonder if my boy is getting better, he looked like his health took yet another dive_." the hold man in business robe, the President, thought with a sigh while watching outside the obscured windows of the car he was occupying.

"We'll be arriving shortly, Mr President." The driver alerted him.

"Uh-hu." the old man gave a simple nod in answer, still deep in thought.

It was in that moment that a faint light high in the sky caught the President's attention.

"_A shooting star?"_ He wondered absently, before noticing that the _Shoo__t__ing Star_ he saw was clearly metallic.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD?!" the man had barely time to ask aloud in shock before the missile reached the city he himself was moving towards.

_**KRATAKABOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

An attack! A large scale nuclear attack! Those were his thoughts before the entire world, from his perspective, became only a giant ball of fire and destruction.

When he finally returned conscious, he was lying on his stomach, legs crushed under the wreckage of his car (_Alive just because the car itself had been built with __in mind __the same armor of a tank_) and having troubles breathing for what he could guess was a pierced lung thanks to a broken rib, with what little medical knowledge he possessed.

"Pain...I-It burns..." the old man muttered with a tired voice.

Everything hurt, everything was damn painful, his sight was dimming and finally a faint light started shining in front of him as soon as he felt his body give-in, almost blinding him.

**Some time later – Cloudcoil Canyon - Sky Pirates Base - **

…

...As it turned out, the old President, called Roland, was not seeing the eponymous light of Heaven welcoming him, but some Magic mumbo-jumbo teleporting him away into _**another world**_ entirely, meanwhile also healing him of everything (_Radiation Poisoning comprised)_ and even putting him back into being a thirty-year-old young man.

So now...Here he was, helping a young half-human-half-cat kid the same age of his son and with cat ears and cat tail that was apparently the very last remaining member of the Tildrum Family after his father, the previous King, had been killed by the man's Chancellor, Mausinger.

"_So: Magic, New World, cat and rat people, and young Evan here __planning__ to build a new __country__ from scratch and create a world w__h__ere everybody live together in Peace...__What the Hell! May as well try!"_ Roland thought as he saw Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, exiled King of _Ding Dong Dell_, promise to the bunch of brutish sky pirates that not even five minutes before were gleefully talking about killing them and pillaging their corpses that _**Yes**_ the two of them will gladly go ALONE into the nest of _**Dragon People**_ to save their Chief's daughter.

A boy no older than fourteen had, in order: discovered the truth behind the death of his father, got betrayed by his own people, saw his closest friend Aranella DIE for him, saw guards' corpses thrown everywhere like garbage while they escaped the castle and was finally took prisoner by renegade criminals (_all in the spawn of __**two days**_) and yet he still hold unreal hope for the future...The boy already had more balls on him than three fourth of the Politicians Roland knew from back in his home planet.

"We will get Tani back, I promise! It's not trickery, I swear! But, I have to live. I have to become a king again. I have to build a country where everyone can be happy!" Snapping out of his musing, he heard Evan promise that with a steel gaze a kid by norm shouldn't be able to pull-off.

When everybody around them started laughing, Evan still held his ground, prompting their chief Batu to silence his fellow pirates with a roaring '_Shut up, curs!'_.

"If I can't repay my debt to Tani, I don't deserve to be king. I don't deserve to live! So kill us if you must! But at least give us a chance to save her first, and if we do...Grant us passage to the _king's cradle_." Evan declared.

"Hmmm. So that's yer game, eh?" Batu asked, unsure.

"Yes."

"_Please tell me it will work..._" Roland thought.

"All right, sunshine. Ye've got yerself a deal. But if ye try escape, I will personally eviscerate ye." Batu, Chief of the Sky Pirates answered with crossed arms and narrowed eye.

**Several minutes later – the Wyvern's Den - **

Both Evan and Roland were silently walking through the dusty canyons and gorges while moving towards the giant beehive-like den they knew will be filled to the brim in flying Dragon People that were out for blood and smart enough to take hostages and make specific demands, thus also smart enough to organize against such a frontal attack.

"Tani saved our lives, we are honor bound to repay our debt and save her." the boy tried saying.

"I know, Evan, I am okay with this." Roland said simply.

"Oh! Sorry, we just met and I thought you would have..." the boy admitted awkwardly.

"It's okay." the man countered nodding.

"Thank you."

"..."

"..."

"Evan?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry if I ask, but are those ears real?" Roland had to ask, he had to know.

"Huhuhu! I am always asked that! Yes, they are! See? I am half Grimalkin, so I have both the ears and the tail of the Grimalkin while looking like a human." Evan answered with an extremely amused tone, while also lifting a fringe of hair to show that there were not human ears where they were supposed to be at the sides of his head, making the cat ones his proper, real ears.

"Nice...Are those Higgledies still following us?" Roland then said as he watched the tiny sprites follow them around.

"It must be like _Aunt_ Martha said: they must like us!" the kid replied with a wide smile, making those tiny embodiment of Nature's Elements looking like living doodles nod emphatically to admit the same thing.

"As our only back-up, is not exactly reassuring..."

"They are strong! You see that every time we fight off some monster!"

"True."

_Kriiiiiiiiiiiii!_

"Down!" Roland hissed as he tackled Evan to the ground so that a wivern could fly over them without spotting their position.

"We are getting close." the boy muttered.

"The closer we get, the more we meet them, yes."

"Let's go then!" the boy answered as he hurried forward.

"Coming."

The Den itself was a giant rock covered in holes giving it the peculiar shape recalling a beehive, and from each of the hundred holes Wyverns could be seen coming and going without stop.

"That cave seems to be the only way to enter for non-flying visitors."

"Do you think we can get inside unnoticed, Roland?"

"We can try, but I would not hold much hope on that, they are actually expecting the Pirates to try save Tani instead of just accepting their conditions."

"Of course."

As they feared, no matter how hard they tried, in the end they still had to fight their way inside the Wyverns' Den, defeating the roaring lizard monsters one tiring battle at a time.

**Half-way towards the main area - **

The tunnels kept going on and on, sometimes with the remnants of the same giant skeleton adorning the mountains outside, the silence was astounding, especially once considered the Wyverns propensity to snarl and growl nonstop.

"They must be keeping Tani somewhere further inside." Evan said, looking around in apprehension.

"_**INTRUDERS**_!" a new voice roared with a hissing undertone.

"Incoming!" Roland yelled while shooting the charging Wyvern in the wings with the strangely-shaped Magic Gun the Sky Pirates gave him.

"_**Grah!**_" the monster bellowed furious as the electrified bullets paralyzed his wings making it crash on the floor.

"We just want Tani! Where is she?" Evan asked.

"_**Just Die!**_" the monster roared in answer while giving a wide swipe with its ax and pushing the boy away as he blocked the attack at the last moment.

_**Blam! Blam! Blam! **_

Three new bullets flew towards the beast, this time shredding its wings so to stop it from flying again, with the added effect of drawing its complete attention towards the shooter.

"**Grah!**"

"This way!" Roland yelled while attacking the thing again.

"Where did you learn to use a sword?"

"I studied since I was a kid! Now help me!" the man answered while trying valiantly to not be squashed as the Wyvern kept pushing against his sword until the man's back went pressed against the wall.

"Roland!" Evan yelled in fright, and using his wand to pelt the Wyvern's back in magical bullets.

"_**Stop, Human!**_" the reptile thing growled annoyed, but making the mistake of looking behind so to glare at Evan.

"Hey!"

"**Hu?**"

_**WHAM!**_

At Roland call, the monster looked back at the trapped man just in time to see him smash the butt of his gun on its muzzle, making the wyvern stumble back in pain and wave around its ax in blind fury.

"Shit!" Roland hissed as he stumbled on a loose rock, losing equilibrium, and giving the monster the right opening to try behead him.

"**DIE!" **

_Thunk!_

"...Eh?" the man muttered as he saw the Wyvern stop mid-roar abruptly, and finally noticing the thin blade sprouting from its chest.

"R-Roland!" ignoring the Monster flopping to the side, Evan hurried to check on his companion, shaking quite visibly from the thing.

"_He's under_ _shock_. _This must be the first time he kills anything, up until now the Monsters we met just ran away whenever they got too injured, but this one stood its ground to the very end..._" Roland thought as he helped Evan dislodge the sword from the Wyvern's back and clean it from the beast blood.

"Evan?"

"I-I am okay. I am okay. We must find Tani, l-let's go." the blond boy answered, clearly biting down the bile through sheer force of will.

"_Be strong, I fear this won't be an isolated incident..._" the other thought with a small sigh escaping him.

"L-Let's go." giving a last look and a silent prayer to the fallen monster, Evan darted forward, forcing Roland to hurry-up to match the boy's sprint.

"Why there is nobody around now? Are they expecting us?" Roland muttered as now the corridors were truly empty, no a single sound reaching them as they navigated the various tunnels until they reached a wide room with a closed gate at the other end.

"There is nobody here..." Evan said, unsure.

"_No, I feel watched...We are being spied._" Roland thought with narrowed eyes as he joined the boy in the middle of the small '_arena'_ with more cautious steps.

"Something is not right." he then said once moved in front of the blond kid.

_**Roaaaaar!**_

"Up there!"

_**Roaaar! Roaaar! Roaaar!**_

Everywhere they looked, Wyverns were perched up on the walls and looking down at them while showing their sharp fangs at every snarl, and in the midst, the biggest, most mean-looking of them all was wearing a golden armour and sporting a very long wild mane of red hair; after gladly accepting two giant axes from an underling, the broad-shouldered thing came down to greet the two humans with a thunderous landing on the floor in front of them.

"That must be their Leader." Roland said, sneering.

"A Wyvern Warlord..." Evan added with a dreadful tone.

"**And What brings you here, hm?**" the Warlord asked.

"So you can talk..." Roland muttered, grabbing his gun even harder.

"We've come to rescue Tani!" Evan declared, making his companion wonder where to put the kid on the scale between '_Brave' _and '_Foolish'._

"_**Kreee Heee heee!**_** The Pirate Girl, hmmm?**" the Wyvern Leader asked with a cruel laugh.

"**You don't seem like sssky pirates to me, **_**pinkssskin!**_** To****o****...ssssmall and ssssucculent...**"

"_Do they plan to eat us?_" Roland thought, worried.

"**Cloudcoil Canyon belongs to we wyverns, yessss!? You have no business here!**" the leader roared deafeningly, inciting the bloodlust of the other dozens of Wyverns watching the scene from above.

"**Leave thisss place!** **Leave thisss place! Leave thisss place! Leave thisss place!"** the crowd boomed as one in a dozen of different hissing voices.

"We are not leaving without Tani!" Evan answered.

"Hn! Attaboy, Evan." Roland commented, feeling kinda proud of the boy for standing tall even in that objectively bad situation.

"If this wasn't our business before, it sure is now." he then added aloud, making the Wyvern Warlord look at them with narrowed furious eyes.

"Yes!"

"_**Kree Hee Hee! **_**You will regret your ssstubbornesss! No****w**** sssuffer!"** the burly monster roared in answer.

"Get ready, Evan!"

"**The pirate girl is ours! Sssmassh them!**" in answer the Wyvern Warlord gave a barking scream, making several of those monsters join the fight.

"That's dirty!" Evan answered, shrieking as he barely dodged a wide swipe of a newly arrived wyvern that almost beheaded him with a half-rusted blade.

"You can't pretend them to play fair!" Roland answered while parrying an attack from a wyvern and shooting a second in the chest with his gun.

"_**Higgly! Boom-Boom!**_" one of the small Higgledies, the boss of light-grey ones, said as a cannon appeared between them.

"A Cannon?!" Roland said in surprise as the weapon started shooting in random directions, forcing the wyverns to scatter to avoid the rain of cannonballs.

"I told you they were strong!" Evan said happily, his wand always moving as he kept three wyverns at bay with his magic.

"**Gravity! Squashy-Squashy!**" another group of Higgledies, black and shadow-like, intoned, summoning a giant dome of dark energy that forcefully slammed the Warlord and several other wyverns on the ground, dazing them.

"**Desspicable weaklingsss! **_**Kree**_**, do I have to do everything myssself?!**" furious about the way he had been forced to kiss the ground, the Warlord himself attacked the two uncaring of the other wyverns caught in his mad dash that launched them in the air.

"Evan!" Roland yelled, grabbing the boy by the back of his small red cloak to help him evade the attack.

"Gah!" the cat boy gasped with a choked voice.

"Sorry."

"_**Kree Eeeh Eeeh!**_**" **the monster laughed as it once again flew high and gleefully diving towards them at high speed at random intervals.

"I can focus on his wings to make him fall down, can you and the Higgledies do that cannon trick again?"

"I don't know..." Evan answered.

"_**Boom-Boom! Boom-Boom!**_" the small living doodles answered jumping up and down, still with their goofy smile on their face.

"They said yes,"

"Okay! I'll leave this to you, Evan, let's go!" Roland answered.

"Yes!" the boy replied as they split-up, Evan and the three squads of Higgledies on one said and Roland to the other.

"Here! Over here!" Evan yelled, catching the Warlord attention.

"**Ssstupid **_**Pinkssssskin!**_" the Monster snarled furious.

"_**Boom-Boom!**_" the grey Higgledies yelled, summoning again the small cannon.

"**I'll kill you before you ssshoot!**"

_**Bang! Bang! Bang!**_

"**GRAAAAAH!**

"Now!" Roland yelled as soon as he saw his magic-empowered bullets open several holes in a wing of the monster.

"_**Cannon!**_" one of the Higgledies said happily as the first of _**MANY**_ cannonballs started raining on the Warlord as soon as he crash-landed on the floor, unable to fly again.

_**BOOOOM!**_

"_**Gravity!**_" the black Higgledies intoned, adding further damages to the wyvern by summoning the dome of hyper-gravity above the tall cloud of dust caused by the cannonballs.

"..."

"..."

A very deep silence fell in the arena as the two humans looked in apprehension as the dust cloud slowly settled down, only to see (to their surprise) the Warlord raise to his feet shakily, both armour and weapons reduced to tatters as the monster slowly dragged himself towards Evan while still holding the broken handle of his ax in one hand.

"_**Kreee...Eeeh...Eeeh...**_**I am too ssstrong...****_Pinkissskin_...You can't win...**" the thing hissed with an extremely weak voice, one wing reduced to a burned stump and only half his tail still behind him.

"I think it's over instead." Evan answered, shaking his head.

"**No over...I Sssleep a little and then kill you...Ugh!**" the Wyvern Warlord answered in defiance, then his eyes turned unfocused and he fell down to the floor, unconscious.

"**Warlord Lossst! Warlord Lossst! Warlord Lossst! Warlord Lossst! Warlord Lossst! Warlord Lossst!**" immediately after, the other Monsters seemingly fell into horror and rapidly ran away from the arena, leaving Roland and Evan alone with the unconscious Warlord.

"W-We did it!" Evan yelled in shock, falling seated on the floor to catch his breath.

"Yeah." Roland, he too out of breath, answered with a small smile.

"I suppose they must be keeping Tani through there." the boy said while pointing at the closed gate at the other end of the room.

"I hope she is okay..."

"She is, I can feel it!" Evan answered in determination.

"I'll trust your instinct then, how do we open that?" Roland answered.

"_**Lever! Lever! Pull-Pull!**_" the small group of green Higgledies answered while toying with a crudely-made lever of wood connected to some old ropes.

_Clunk! Trararararara!_

"Quite ingenious..." the blond kid admitted once pulled that lever and raised the gate.

"HEEEEELP!" immediately a female voice echoed from the depths of the new tunnel.

"TANI!" Evan yelled as he hurried forward.

"There she is." Roland added, watching the squirming girl that had been tied like a salami and left hanging from the ceiling.

"How do we take her down though?"

"I know! Wiff-Waff! Cut her down, would you?" Evan answered, addressing the leader of the green Higgledies with a gentle voice.

"_**Cut-Cut**_**!**" the wind Element Higgledies answered immediately, and as if carried by a breeze he flew up to Tani and started fumbling with the ropes holding her up.

"Ehm...Evan..." Roland said, unsure.

"Yes?"

"Once cut that rope, how will she land?" he asked.

"Ah!"

"_**Cut-cut!**_" the Higgledy, apparently tired of failed attempts at undoing the knots, opted for simply cutting away the rope making the wide-eyed girl fall down.

"KYAAAAH!"

"Careful!" Roland yelled at seeing Evan run forward trying to catch the girl, only for him to miscalculate the timing and ending up simply using his body as a cushion for her to land on, and Roland was sure he heard something going _crack!_ on the boy's back.

_**Boom!**_

"You okay?" Tani asked, surprised.

"...Ghn!" the blond boy she was now sitting on replied with a muffled groan of agony.

"I am not fat..."

"We know, you are thin and athletic, nobody can say you are fat." Roland answered.

"Thank you."

**After several helpings of Healing Herbs and Healing Higgledies Spells - **

"It's you! The little boy from before! What're you doing here?" Tani asked as soon as the last rope came undone, freeing her.

"What do you mean, '_Little boy'_!? You can't be much older than me!" Evan replied, scandalized.

"Heh heh! All right, all right, keep your hair on, umm…?" the wine-red-haired girl answered, smirking.

"Evan. My name is Evan."

"And I am Roland."

"Evan and Roland, eh? Well, thanks for coming to the rescue!" Tani answered.

"I didn't have either of you down as the reckless type, but you must be to have come here! Speaking of which, why didn't that grizzled old coward Batu come and get me himself?"

"We made an agreement: in return for securing your freedom, he promised to grant us safe passage to the _King's Cradle_." Evan answered.

"Really? He said that? HA! I knew it!" Tani answered with a knowing smile.

"What?"

"I knew he'd take a shine on you! You've got the same twinkle in your eye!"

"I most certainly do not!" Evan replied, looking very embarrassed.

"You most certainly do, too!" she countered.

"It's like you can both...See something...Something no one else can."

"I am not sure I understand."

"One day you will." Roland said with a small nod.

"I think we should go back for now, the wyverns may return any moment." Evan answered, sighing,

"Yeah, but I need you to help me with something." Tani asked.

"What is it?"

"Help me take this back too, I think it deserves a better place to rest." the girl said while turning grim, and uncovering a giant slab of rock that had been propped against the wall close to where she had been tied-up.

"A-A-A..." Evan gasped in shock.

"A coffin, still pristine new too." Roland finished saying.

"I guess they attacked a convoy that was taking it to some special burial place, there are no graveyards around here besides the one used by the Sky Pirates. Maybe whoever is in there wanted to be buried somewhere around here holding some special sentimental value...And the Wyverns mistook it from some treasure chest." Tani said, looking at the cold stone with sad eyes.

"And once seen it was just a coffin, they stored it here just because?" Roland asked back, making the young girl shrug uncertain.

"Be as it may, it still deserves a proper burial." Evan countered.

"You think I can store it inside that _Inventory ring_ that holds our weapons and equipment?" Roland asked.

"It should be able to store it in there, yes."

"Let's go then, we'll put it in our graveyard." Tani offered.

"You sure?" Evan asked, surprised.

"Whoever is in there deserves a nice resting place, if one day we find the owner's family, we'll tell them what happened and leave to them the choice." she answered.

"It's very generous of you, Tani." Roland admitted.

"Think nothing of it, let's just go now."

Nobody of them could imagine that in truth that coffin appeared directly in that storage room the same day Roland arrived in their world, something the Wyverns could not explain either, not that they cared since they could not open or smash it no matter how much they tried…

Those Seals engraved on it were still made to last a long time unless opened the right way, after all.

**One hour later – Sky Pirates Base - **

"HI EVERYONE! I AM HOOOOME!" not even three steps in and Tani loudly declared her return, masterfully catching everybody's attention.

"Tani's back!" immediately came as an answer screamed by a multitude of different voices.

"She's really back, eh?" another said as Batu walked towards her.

"Back safe and sound, Boss!" Tani declared proudly, smirking at her fuming (and yet, clearly relieved) father.

"Aye..." Batu answered with a suffering sigh, finally relaxing a bit from his previous rigid posture.

"Ye went an' got yerself captured eh, girlie?" the tall man asked, shaking his head.

"Yes, Boss! Sorry, Boss!" she replied, clearly not sorry _at all_.

"Evan, lad! Ye were as good as yer word, so I shall be as good as mine! Ye may pass freely through the canyon!"

"Thank you very much, Chief Batu!" Evan answered, grateful.

"...So the corpse holes are not needed anymore?" a near Sky Pirate asked, unsure.

"Corpse...BOSS!" Tani yelled in blind rage.

"Great show of trust in our abilities." Roland commented sighing.

"It's not what ye think!" Batu, face beet-red, said immediately.

"There is '_Here lies __what remains of __Evan, __a__ great gutsy lad __heroically eaten by Wyverns__' _written on it..." Evan answered with a pale face and his cat ear pinned flat against his skull.

"...Okay, maybe things're a bit like ye're thinking..." Batu admitted while shooing away the guys that were still digging behind him.

"Well, mistrust aside, we are still one step closer to the _King's Cradle_." Roland commented, trying to cheer-up the poor blond kid.

"Forgive him, he is an idiot." Tani said, sighing in defeat.

"I'm still yer father and Boss, technically." Batu muttered, dejected.

"Still an idiot, though."

"Auuughn!" the man groaned, now fully depressed.

"So you really are serious about going, then? To the cradle?" she asked.

"Yes." Evan answered.

"Well, the quickest way there is to fly, of course! But what are you going all the way up there for?"

"This one here's all set to hook himself a kingmaker an' become lord o' the whole wide world, don't ye know!" Batu explained.

"King of the whole wide world, you say?" Tani asked with wide eyes.

"He likes to think big." a near Pirate commented.

"Well..."

"Blimey. You have some pretty big ideas for such a pipsqueak."

"You are not that much taller than me..." Evan muttered with a small voice.

"Well, you'll only end up getting lost if you go on your own...All right, I'm coming with you!" Tani decided, smirking in satisfaction at the two's surprised reaction.

"YOU ARE?!" everybody yelled as one.

"And what have ye to be traipsin' along to yer doom with these sorry swabs, girlie?...No offence." Batu asked.

"None taken." Roland answered.

"Ha! You're the one who's always telling me to do what I want whenever I want! Well, this is what I want to do right now, and I am going to do it, so there!" Tani answered, huffing haughtily.

"Hope you don't mind me tagging along, Evan! Not that you've got much choice!" she then said.

"Okay..." Evan answered, unsure.

"But why?!" Batu asked again.

"Maybe I have a thing for cute boys with cat ears, what's it to you?" Tani answered.

"Eeep!"

"TOO YOUNG! TOO YOUNG!" Batu screamed immediately while Evan covered his ears with both hands, looking utterly devoured by shyness.

"I was joking, relax!" she answered, laughing amused by the whole thing.

"Ohh, I can tell she'll be a handful." Roland muttered in dismay.

"Ye have no idea." Batu confirmed, looking equally troubled.

"Before we go, we need a favour. Tani said you others could bury this thing in your graveyard until we find the owner's family, the wyvern must have mistook it for a treasure chest and stole it from somebody." Roland asked once took out the stone coffin from the ring.

"They even go grave-robbin' now? Those pests don't have no shame." Batu answered with a long sigh once seen the thing.

"Yeah, ye can leave that here, the dead should-a rest in peace with no grabby hands roaming about." the tall man added while patting the coffin's surface.

"_**Oooh!**_" immediately a chorus of small voices echoed in the area.

"Higgledies!" Tani said in surprise as a great number of those small creatures swarmed them, at least four of them for each kind.

"WHERE?! I heard they are incredibly cute...I wish I could see them..." A female Pirate said sighing in envy.

"There is a lot of them." Roland admitted impressed.

"Light, Dark, Fire, Wind, Water, Earth...They are all present..."

"**Wake! Wake!**" the Higgledies with sun-shaped heads asked as one while the Wind Element ones kept knocking on the coffin.

"I am sorry, but our friend there is very tired, we can't wake him up." Evan tried saying with a gentle smile.

"**Wake! Wake!" **a single Light Element Higgledy answered jumping on top of the coffin to poke it with the tiny needle-sized stick of condensed light it carried.

"Really, you can't-"

_Click!_

Evan's words died in his throat when the first clicking noise came from inside the coffin.

"**Open!**" the same sun-shaped sprite said with a proud squeaky voice.

_Click! _

_Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!..._

"That's a lotta locks." Batu commented as the clicking sound of opening locks kept going and going.

"Is there even enough space in there for all those locks?" Tani added.

CLUNK!

The last sound was deeper, as if the biggest lock of them all finally went undone, and the strange leaf-like marking in the center of the coffin's cover slowly spun until it pointed towards the head of the thing before popping outwards, now fully unlocked.

"..."

"..."

"What now?" Roland asked, uncertain.

_**BOOM!**_

In answer the coffin's cover exploded into dust, making a _**DENSE**_ feeling of anger wash in the entire Canyon as the man inside the coffin snapped upward in a sitting position.

"_**GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**_" and letting-out a deafening roar that not only petrified the humans present, but by the thick shadow filling the sky not too far away, it also helped the Wyvern tribe decide it was time to relocate themselves somewhere FAR AWAY! (Idea soon shared by several other monsters as well).

"_**AAAAAAAA**_aaaaaaaah, FUCK! My back is killing me!" the monster inside the coffin soon stopped screaming in a demonic voice so to switch to a more normal one, and even his rage disappeared like nothing as soon as he cracked his back a little, action that turned that same scream into a moan of bliss.

"..."

"...Hello?" the blond man, with faint markings on his cheek resembling whiskers, asked curious once seen the hundreds of people looking back at him with wide eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" in answer the proud and brave Sky Pirates answered with a high pitched scream of fear while Roland forced Evan to hide behind him as he took out his gun.

"_Something I said?_" the blond man thought in worry as utter bedlam exploded all around him, especially worried by the crowd of small colourful fairies dancing in victory around his coffin.

"**I don't have the faintest clue, Naruto.**" Kurama the Ten-Tailed Vixen answered, just as confused as her Vessel.

**A bit rushed, maybe, but now that I introduced Naruto too, I can return to a calmer flow of events.**

**Let me know where to fix this, thank you.**

**Have a nice day,**

**Tr230.**


End file.
